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Chapter 68: 6/25-6/26: Funny Money
This update contains content from Part 61 of the original LP.
Music: Regret
No! Get back! This is my money, I earned it! I’ll have nothing without it!
Well, then I guess you’re about to have nothin’.
I’m so stupid, so ugly, so weak… Money is all I’ve got! It was my only way to survive and be happy in this cruel world of ours! You get it, right? It’s our capitalist society’s fault!
I dunno guys, he makes a pretty good point.
Can you focus!?
I just wanted a place where I could belong! You get that, don’t you!?
Bullshit! All you did was surround yourself with people you could use, solely for some easy money!
And you think you’re the only one who’s gotta deal with bein’ labeled? Me… and all these other guys… We’re all fightin’ against that!
But don’t worry. You’ll finally have a place you belong. Somewhere you can make amends, for the rest of your life.
We’re gonna do somethin’ about that distorted heart of yours. Free of charge.
Smooth.
Thanks, I’ve been workshoppin’ that one.
Psh. Fine. You win. I guess the debt’s off.
I’m glad you understand. Now hurry up and return to the real Kaneshiro.
I don’t get you guys at all. You have this amazing power you could use to do whatever you want, and you’re using it to LARP as superheroes? Think of the cash you could make, man!
Hey! We’re not superheroes, we’re phantom thieves! It’s a distinct thing! You wouldn’t like it if I called you a yakuza, right? Even if I don’t really understand how your “mafia” differs…
We’re not like you!
Ugh, such childish self-righteousness. Makes me wanna puke. Especially when there’s someone else using the same power to do what they like…
Music: Disquiet
What…?
Oh, you didn’t know…? It seems you phantom thieves are so clueless…
Wait, are you talking about the black mask dude? Because we actually did know that.
Hmph. Well, I bet you didn’t know that they’ve been doing whatever they like to people’s hearts. Psychotic breakdowns, mental shutdowns, you name it.
That’s only two things.
Yeah, well… He can do more stuff! Probably! Shut up!
Is that… the same person Madarame’s Shadow spoke of?
Spill it! Who’re you talkin’ about!?
*snicker* I’ll never telllll~! But you thieves better watch your backs… They’re way out of your league, and I’m sure they’re gonna be gunning for you soon enough…
The original, non-abridged version of that conversation does feature Kaneshiro using the word “Palace” a lot, so I guess Akechi told Shido told Kaneshiro about it, whatever. I was wrong to point it out last time.
Music: High Pressure
We can think about that later! Grab the Treasure—there’s no time!
Uh, the Treasure is like a billion massive gold bars, we can’t carry all of them!
Then just take a few of them!
What effect will that have on the change of heart? Will it only go, like, halfway?
Forget about that, can all of us together even lift one of those things?
Oh my god, just do it! Mona, tell them to—huh!?
T-Treasure! I wanna lick it!
Uh, what’s wrong with him?
We don’t know.
This is sooooo coooooool! Wowwweee, being a human is great! It’s… It’s… It’s… shiny shiny gold!
WHY
Enough, already! Let’s get it in, everyone! Hurry!
Grrr… Fine!
Music: Suspicion
Ouch!
You guys are so careless… *Looney Tunes-ass anvil falling sound effect* *thud*
Me—owwwww….
I think I cracked my ass…
Ann, are you all right!? Is yours cracked as well?
Of course not!
Isn’t it supposed to be though?
Urgh, that’s not what I mean!
Yes, haha, thank you for the vaudeville routine, you’ve been very entertaining. People are staring at us right now, though, so maybe we should get out of here.
Wait, where’s Morgana?
Damn, I was hoping I was the only one who noticed he was missing.
Music: My Homie
That briefcase...
It appears to have been the cause of Morgana’s demise…
That’s not what I meant! Isn’t that Kaneshiro’s…
You mean his Treasure!?
Can one of you just go grab him before the signal changes?
Where should we open it?
How about at karaoke?
We’d have security cameras to worry about there.
Also, I got banned from there after repeatedly demanding the proprietor add 24-Hour Cinderella to his selection.
Oh, I got the perfect place.
That’s right!
Huh?
I was just in the mood for some coffee too.
Oh, you’re talking about Leblanc. Well, that’s fine. If we get caught by Sojiro I’m blaming all of you though.
He wouldn’t buy that for a second.
Fuck! You’re right!
Come on, we can fix up Morgana there too while we’re at it.
So… warm…
I have no idea what that last line is about.
Music: Wicked Plan
This place is oddly calming.
Thanks. I know I don’t have a lot of décor in here, it’s pretty dusty, the TV doesn’t even have a tuner, and I have like one game for the console, but… sorry, what did you say again?
That’s all fine. It makes this place… uh… cozy.
Morgana, hold still…
Yusuke, what have you learned about the briefcase?
Hmm… yes… it’s locked. And… I do not know the code.
So that’s a bust…
Meooowgh!
A rotary lock, hm?
…I knew it.
How did you get that?
I simply memorized the combination. I saw him open and close it so many times, after all.
Also, he muttered it and chuckled under his breath every time he put it in. “6969… Heh… Nice…” Don’t really understand what was so funny about it, but it works for our purposes.
W-Well that’s… scary. But amazin’ too!
Urghhh, that burns… Hey, hurry up and open it.
*assorted gasps*
H-How much is this!?
I believe one stack is one million yen… …Hm?
One, two, three… Uhhh, there’s thirty of them in here!?
Thirty million yen… even after splitting it, we still each get five million!
Holy shit… It’s gonna be deluxe pork soup combo for me from here on out!
You have to think bigger than that…
Not to bring down the excited mood… but does this money look real to you?
What!?
F-For real!?
Music: Break it Down (Elp Version)
I guess this represents… how everything he did was an act to make himself seem tough?
Nooooooooo!
I don’t give a shit. Give me the money!
The money is fake, though!
ALL MONEY IS FAKE
Well hey, at least it feels like we totes busted this case, right?
I don’t know what that means. Is that good or bad?
Both!
Snrk… *chuckle* Ahahahaha! To think the reward for the Phantom Thieves is feeling they “totes busted” the case… Ahhh… How funny!
Well, if you’re not going to let me branch out my counterfeiting operation to get rid of all this Monopoly money, we should at least sell this briefcase. It’s gotta be worth something, right?
All right then, let’s sell it! Glad we got that sorted!
By the way Morgana, have any of your memories returned?
No, not at all…
C’mon, did that hit to your head make you forget even more?
It’s easy for you to talk. You’re not the one who lost your memories.
Yeah, well I just wouldn’ta lost my memories in the first place. Simple. I’m just built different, I guess.
You have amnesia?
Something like that. He does remember searching for Treasures though.
Hm. I hope your memories return soon then. So… what happens next?
First, we wait for Kaneshiro to have his change of heart.
And how long will that take?
It is unclear!
It’s gonna be big this time. People’re gonna make a huge deal out of it, for sure.
I’m worried about what his Shadow said, though… A criminal using the Metaverse…
Yes, I was bothered by that as well.
We’ll figure out how to deal with that some other time. For now, let’s just wait the one-day-to-three-weeks it’ll take for Kaneshiro’s change of heart to happen.
We should prolly just lay low for a while.
I never thought I’d hear those words coming from you.
Music: Disquiet
How long is it going to take?
You’re the principal, dammit. Don’t you know what your students are up to? It’s your job to keep abreast of any incidents like this. …I’m *well* aware you’re having… difficulties at the moment, but part of being involved in a political murder conspiracy is pulling your weight!
I hope you remember who gave you that position to begin with. Our other operative gave us a list of candidates without delay. How different from a certain someone… …Yes, of course. Please continue your investigation.
And I hope for your sake that you manage to turn something up, before people realize that a high school principal is in on our *national conspiracy*.
After School → Evening
Music: Beneath the Mask
>For the love of god, yes, we did all we can. Do we need to go over this every time?
All we need to do now is await the results.
I wonder what’s gonna happen when he has the change of heart. Do you think he’ll turn himself in?
That seems likely. I hope he spills everything to the police…
Well, there are still a few lingering worries, but I believe we did well.
>You guys are so fucking neurotic.
We did great, guys! We went up against a real criminal and took him down!
I can’t wait to see Akechi’s face when he hears the news!
Honestly, I just hope that people who see it get some courage from the news.
There’s still one thing that worries me though…
Do you mean how someone is using the Metaverse for evil?
It would be seriously unforgivable if someone was really doing that…
We’ve heard it from multiple sources, I think it’s pretty clearly true, Ann.
Eh, we can think about that later. For now, let’s just wait for Kaneshiro’s change of heart.
Very well. Nicely done, everyone!
Are you guys even reading my replies? Am I shadowbanned? Hello?
All we need to do now is let the results come rolling in. We did great today though! Public opinion of us should skyrocket after this!
(Narrator) No villain can withstand the power of girls’ night! Revive and fight, Phoenix Rangers! Next episode… “I Want a Love So Strong, It’d Bring Me Back from the Dead”!
Nothing goes your way in life. Let it get to your head, and you’ll get the rug pulled from under you.
We’re going to read Flowerpedia tonight. Our Kindness stat is pretty far from the next rank, so we’ll be putting a little work into it. Though we don’t need to prioritize it too hard, as the Rank 4 gate is part of Futaba’s Confidant, which we won’t even unlock for two months.
Music: Break it Down
If you learn more about flowers, it’ll be useful for when you work at that florist job.
That book covered all kinds of flowers and what they mean to people. Now, won’t that be handy at the florist job?
Kamoshida and Madarame too… They abused people just to fulfill their twisted desires…
Still, there were people around them who noticed their terrible deeds, weren’t there? I wonder why they turned a blind eye… Why doesn’t anyone help?
People are generally cowards who seek to avoid conflict. It’s not that deep.
So they’re afraid…?
Humans are so weak. Humans…
I’ve been letting it slide but you’ve been talking about humans quite a bit today like you aren’t one. Have you finally given up on denying your cathood?
Well… when I touched the Treasure… I actually did get some memories back. And it feels like… I really might not be human…
Ha! In your face! I knew it!
……
…Oh, come on, I’m kidding. Even if you’re not actually human, I’ve seen Blade Runner, it’s not like that distinction actually matters.
Oh, whatever! I’ve gotta be human! I’m the core of the Phantom Thieves!
Not really sure what that has to do with it, but okay…
I feel like my bond with Morgana is growing deeper…
Music: Aria of the Soul
You’ve defeated the repulsive fiend of gluttony this time. *chuckle* Well done.
Calling him “repulsive” seems a little uncalled for, dude already had insecurities about his weight… Oh, you meant his *heart*. Because he was evil. Never mind, then.
I am glad to see you have devoted yourself to your rehabilitation.
You are not worthy of such kind words, Inmate… I suggest you treasure them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, still don’t really get it… Yo, Igor!
…Yes?
I asked you last time if you gave that other Metaverse user that power, and you said no. Well, it came up again.
Ah shit…
Do you possibly have any *other* ideas for how this black mask guy got the ability to enter Palaces?
Uhh… Listen, I do a lotta shit. I can’t say I didn’t get drunk one night and give some random asshole powers as a laugh. But if I did, at least I don’t remember doing it!
……
Or maybe he got that power some other way! Who can say?
I—
Oh jeez, look at the time! That villain has probably already shut a bunch of people’s minds down while we’ve been chatting! You should, uh, probably go do something about that! Here, take this power and go handle it!
I feel like my bond with Igor is growing deeper…
Anon: they’re up to something
Early Morning
Music: Beneath the Mask (Instrumental Version)
I never sleep. I am vengeance. I am the night.
I just called to fill you in on something important.
Kaneshiro contacted me.
Kaneshiro!?
Don’t yell into the phone! It’s rude!
Music: Break it Down (Elp Version)
He told me he’s calling off the debt. He already disposed of the photographs as well.
And, um… My sister and her team have taken him into custody.
What!?
Cat, this is strike two. You’re about to lose phone privileges.
It appears they did not want him to… disappear, if you know what I mean.
His group was called a mafia, after all… I wouldn’t put silencing him past them.
I can only imagine. They probably wouldn’t even have shelled out for a nice length of carpet to roll him up in when they domed him and tossed him into the harbor.
Does this mean we were successful in changing his heart?
I’m… sorry? What did you just say?
It’s hard to say for sure yet.
OH MY GOD, WHAT THE FUCK ELSE COULD IT MEAN!? I feel like I’m losing my *mind*!
You’re the one yelling into the phone now!
I see… What about those psychotic breakdowns that Kaneshiro mentioned?
I’m not sure… but I assume he was talking about the incidents that have been all over the news lately. It really may be related to the other person who has been entering Palaces…
True… That said, all we can do now is wait until Kaneshiro’s change of heart becomes clear to us. Thank you.
Early Morning → Daytime
>Makoto, you *just* called me. What could you possibly need now that you couldn’t say five minutes ago?
I was ordered by Principal Kobayakawa to look for the culprits behind Mr. Kamoshida’s case.
>You’re right, I did know that.
We seem to be fine for now, but we can’t let our guard down. I ask that you try not to stand out for a while. By the way, I usually spend my time in the student council room. If there’s ever an emergency, feel free to come find me there.
Everything reminds you of the home shopping program.
I can see why they’d resonate with you. Young people tend to gravitate toward romantic ideas. Allow me to impart some advice. Only intellectuals can find success in life. I don’t mean the crude excesses of wealth or status. Look at me, and see true success personified. If you wish to achieve such true success for yourself, then it would be my pleasure to guide you.
I want to make a jerk-of motion right now to mock you, but my arms aren’t long enough to convey the totality of my disdain.
(Male Host) Here’s what we’ve got for you today! First we have the Dark Power Set! With these mysterious powers, what sort of new paths could you open!?
Hmm… I *do* want to unleash dark power…
(Male Host) 2 Black Rock and 1 Black Robe! Both items in one set! What a steal! But wait! There’s more! Here we have the Cursed Tools Set! F-For people who really want to curse someone… 3 Five-inch Nail and 10 Straw Doll! These two will be in one set! What a steal!
We don’t have a ton of Black Rocks and no Black Robes at all, so we’ll go for the Dark Power Set. The other set gives consumable items to hit weaknesses, which are okay situationally but are hardly necessary.
Music: Tokyo Daylight
lionelhutzworldwithoutlawyers.jpg
We practically exhausted our supply of Tin Clasps and Silk Yarns from that crafting session earlier, so let’s buy out the secondhand shop’s supply (three of each).
Then, let’s go to the secondhand clothes store to dump our dirty clothes. We have five in total, giving us 140 points after the sale. We choose not to buy anything this time.
Looks like we were correct to assume that Sakai would ask for the Yakisoba Pan next.
Apparently, it’s bread that’s made with love and sold at a specific high school. I’ve got this Black Robe ready to trade for it. Thanks, man!
So we can trade, yes? Yes!?
Thank you! I knew you’d say that!
You’re like my Yakisoba Pan Angel!
And here you go… Your Black Robe.
I see… So this is the Yakisoba Pan that’s only sold at a certain school… Legends say that students wage epic battles on a daily basis to buy this bread… or not. Either way, you’re a winner for getting this! A real hero! I’ll be counting on you again next time!
We’re going to head into the Velvet Room briefly just to check on our Persona in Lockdown.
Music: Aria of the Soul
Decent stat upgrade, nice. We won’t pull it out of Lockdown just yet, though.
Music: Tokyo Daylight
(Sad Old Man) When it’s time for us to pass on, this place might be totally gone.
Don’t say that. Though, there’s nothing we can do about it…
(Commercial) Fiends and evildoers will be trapped in an instant! This program is brought to you by Wanna-B-Alert.
A security company, huh…? Then again, I don’t own anything I’d miss if it got stolen.
(Gentle-Looking Mother) Kotaro says he’s tired. And let’s leave the bad guys to the police, okay?
Is Kotaro… not feeling good?
…Let’s head back home. We don’t want Kotaro to worry.
Music: Tokyo Emergency
(Protesting Man) Yes, I must save Shibuya from the surge of darkness. It is all the will of the Sun God.
So you really do control them! I thought you’d just been idling the time away.
Y-You fledgling… It is merely my plan to throw them off guard! As we speak, my apostles go forth!
Let’s see… You know that the Phantom Thieves sent out a calling card, right? I’m pretty sure that’s going to cause things around here to get pretty hectic.
Oh, that’s right. Did you see it? Did you see the Phantom Thieves’ calling card? The things they do are pretty interesting.
I keep hearing about the calling card that the Phantom Thieves sent out. The underworld is nothing but thugs now. It’s pathetic. What happened to their code of honor?
Music: Tokyo Daylight
The upcoming conversation with Fishy Hawker actually branches depending on your choices. I won’t show all the options because there’s like five ways it can go and not all of them are unique. What I will say is that identical options for Maaku lead to identical responses from FH, if you’re curious what some of the “missing” responses are.
Busy studying, eh? With these amazing study reference books, you’ll pass any exam you want!
Yeah! You better go buy… these awesome study reference books! If you’ll just sign here…
What!? You use up my time like this, and then you say you don’t want any of my products!? Why didn’t you just say so from the start? Go away, you idiot kid, you’re wasting my time!
And if we pick the latter options from the start instead…
Say, buddy, you got a minute? Relax, I’m not with the mafia or Phantom Thieves, so don’t worry!
Yeah! You better go buy… these awesome study reference books! If you’ll just sign here…
Hellloooo? You can hear me, right? …Psh. Idiot kid. If you don’t want anything, then get outta here!
It said it was a “calling card.” You think it’s an ad for something?
(Taxi Driver) Oh, I’ve been hearing those are a message for the head honcho of those thugs in Shibuya. The guys sending the calling cards have been busy. Maybe they got into a scuffle with yakuza.
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
So, in case it’s unclear what happened here, this line of dialogue doesn’t exist here due to some kind of oversight in the localization process. This line either wasn’t translated or didn’t get properly copied or something. Or, maybe there isn’t actually supposed to be a line of dialogue here at all and the conversation was supposed to end with the previous line, but some kind of error caused this to display. I have no idea which. I know one or two people in the thread have been posting stuff from the Japanese version occasionally, so maybe one of them can look at this line and tell me if there’s even supposed to be anything here. This is very strange, honestly, and it’s not even the only weird error I’ve noticed with incidental dialogue in Royal.
Well, I have good news for you! You’ll be protected with this fully featured anti-crime phone case! Getting mugged? With the flip of a switch, your phone will turn into a stun gun! Buy yours today, as part of an irresistible package deal with our internet service!
(Sharp Lawyer) Kaneshiro, eh? The police can’t handle him, so they’ll win over the public if they take him down.
You think it’ll be that simple? They’re going after a major figure in the criminal underworld.
That’s exactly why it’s exciting to see what will happen next.
We’ve seen the public’s reactions to the new calling card, so let’s call this one for today.