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S02E03: Special Delivery.
So, three months have passed since Random arrived in Tyrine...
He's right there you lummox.
Anyway, Random's hyped for an upcoming group test coming up. He's been put in a group of three with Leona and Cecil.
Guanidia kind of doesn't give a shit which annoys Random.
Apparently Roman has promised there'll be a cool reward involved and both Leona and Random badly want it.
Random's strong enough to use the Tyrine Knight Sword now. But it's still outclassed by Metallist, Empyrion and even the Barandos DaMuhl.
The Tyrine Knight Armor is much worse than the Missionary Landcoat, so we put that back on. The Tyrine Helmet is better than the Snake Bandana so we keep that. Still no accessories.
We have a change from the first day, in that we get to walk to school this time!
Random immediately pisses off a mob of children right outside his house. I should also point out that most of the NPCs in this area refer to Random by name, so he's made himself well-known around here one way or another.
We head eastward. Random claims the west path just ends in a cul de sac.
Tyrine is the cool place to live. You can find most of the cool people there. In Tyrine you can just chill and do whatever and totally relax. "Take your time" is the Tyrean motto, for example, that's how laid back it is there. Show up if you want to have a good time. Another good reason to show up is if you want to go to sword school with your friends.
Another guy complains of the extreme lack of anything magic related.
There's also these I guess.
The old man talks about how there's pictures and statues of these two 'Tyrean glories' all over the port and then suddenly changes the topic to... threatening (warning?) Random.
Anyway, he rambles on a bit more about having to live with the heroes of your own era because there used to be two different statues of old friends of his here instead of the two sisters.
The school is just north of the statues so we backtrack down the stairs, and then down another flight to the main town level.
Ah, Sariis...
Random just says no to this guy. I mean, seriously, we just probably bankrupted SankT Leona with the one-two combo of selling it billion things and then robbing its treasury.
Also what even is a robbery fest. Are we gonna eat afterwards or hold an orgy. Piss off guy.
Some GP just stuffed in a wall here.
Let's head inside.
I like the way these guys think. Mostly. The second guy should be less violent, please.
Neither Marine nor McBride have much worth showing off to say, though McBride does let us save. I'll mention their dragon mood thingys are both also pink.
The third nun who has wisely distanced herself from the rest yammers on about how bad the cult of Yveen is and how the Church of Sariis intends to expand to Metrolia. Still super glad we're not going there. One of our party members could have easily had a class there but we were fortunate and they don't even let people in without invites anyway! So glad we're not going there, where all the strong monsters and banks and casinos are. We are NEVER going to Metrolia.
Those stairs to the east lead to the port, which Random refuses to visit.
The stairs north lead to both a small market building and the cemetary.
A precious rare detail about Oudes Giuli. They have drinks there.
Hidden in the market building is a trea-
WAGH! Where the fuck
Very bizarrely, the Main Gauche is an accessory. I can't even pretend to imagine how Random is holding his three blades right now. Maybe the blade of the Main Gauche is clutched 'tween his fingers with the hilt outwards, accounting for the small defense boost. Seriously, look at that. And no special resists or anything. That's literally the fucking worst accessory we've ever seen. Random really needs this course, he's self-taught and insanely stupid.
We move on to the cemetary, which is also ... Tyr'd. Is that an intentional thing Indy did? Wait is Tyrine Tier-ween or Tire-reen or... -whine. Wait wait wait. There's only one r. Tyr is tier usually but... but what would rine make it? Tie-rine?
This is the only real reason to come to the cemetary and even then, not all that much of one.
There's also this.
And a house with closed doors. Huh. I guess that makes it an oddity worth noting in a JRPG.
We backtrack to the main area.
To the west of the stairs down (the church was to the east of them) are the two real shops.
Geez, a teen becomes a regional hero, gets a free house, a stipend, kills lots of people and gets a billion relics and artifacts and an extremely overpriced combat course and suddenly he's an elistist prick.
Anyway, if we go into the weapon store we find our Der Kerchavel has forbidden the store from selling anything to school students. Bullshit. BULLSHIT!
We can buy healing items in the other store, however. I do not do so, though.
One of the things I've always found interesting about the Deport is that while there's the occassional reference to ancient wars and stuff, the major kingdoms, the many petty kingdoms, the elves and the dwarves are all largely at peace with everyone else and there's no mention of any tensions or poor relations at all. The closest we've had to date, even including future games, is still Dorado and Orfuls taking control of Capul/Darkin' Park in the hopes of starting the Big Cow Wars.
Anyway, we head to the school. There's two side paths around it.
We'll actually visit the gardens at the end of this scenario. We'll go to the port before all that long too, I believe.
Der Kerchavel isn't well thought of by some people. Also, he thinks the name De Kerchavel is stupid.
I don't believe we'll visit either cul de sac, either. Also, I didn't mention, but at the south end of this map, is yet more stairs to a lower tier of the town. Random refers to it as the 'centre of town' and refuses to go. We'll never visit Tyrine proper.
Into school...
The NPCs still lack much of interest. And De Kerchavel's secretarys office is still a mess. Or a mess all anew.
De Kerchavel doesn't have much to say but does sort of hint that you should always do as much as possible. This game has a scoring system that gives you import rewards for LP3 based on how you do in each scenario. There is no indication of what does and does not count for this, nor when you earn any, or any way to check before you reach the end of a scenario.
Leona tells Random off for being late and Random tries to lie to us all and say Tyreans rush too much.
Our mission is to go take a long ass walk in the mountains.
Surprisingly, Random immediately protests the idea of committing an 'onslaught.'
uhhhmmmmmmmmmmm.....
Roman tells us that the group that brings back the most golem heads will recieve a nice reward. But he wants 5 at minimum. Also, the more heads we bring in, the better the reward shall be.
Random leads the others out and to the mountains.
And then does not know where they are.
I legit didn't know alpinism was a valid way of referring to mountaineering until I looked it up.
Random is worried about how good Thomas is and suggests picking up Guanidia to help out but Leona naysays it, not wanting to take the chance on being caught cheating.
The first mention of the heroic CHAZ! But apparently Cecil thinks those three would make the best over all team.
Leona apparently knows a part of the mountains where the golems are especially thick and recommends they go there, while the other teams waste a lot of time looking all over.
He raises a good point but Leona just dismisses it with an incredible line.
Also, probably counts as racist in this setting.
Random gives in and Cecil agrees too.
I think she means... Nice words, which is still awkward but less so than saying Nice Language in response to the other two saying they want to win.
We get walked through a first area without any input and encounter a golem.
They're not much of a threat. To Random. Leona is pretty meh and Cecil is absolutely awful.
They actually drop the Golem Heads too. The description is nothing remarkable.
Everyone excitedly carries on.
And NOW we have control.
Leona has her own sword we cannot remove...
And Cecil has fuck all. I wish I had that Orc Talisman, or Leona's Sharp Move, though.
Their move lists aren't great either. Cecil lacks Fresh Wave but has 'Antidote'. He lacks Fury which is some kind of attack annnd he has Defense Down instead of Defense Up.
You can see our second golem right there.
This first part is just a big open area that has a wall of caves at the north end.
We mulch a third golem out here before we begin spelunking.
Three-way intersection. I go east first.
There's nothing directly north...
There's some random encounters that aren't even so much as a speed bump here. There's also Giant Lycoses, which are slightly more dangerous.
Huge ass spiders! Easy fight but the damn thing seriously has like 9999k HP or something, it takes a few turns of more than a few max damage crits from both Random and Leona. Even Cecil manages to pull off some decent crits.
I'm not sure if this fight counts for anything but it's there. You can't go down the hole, so we backtrack to the intersection.
Find our fourth golem to the north...
Backtracking to the intersection, the west path takes us down and around...
We had some of these before we were forced to ditch them. Eat a bag of hell, Random.
Hidden chest.
And our fifth golem.
There's also these freak octopi I cannot say much about, since we one-shot them.
On to the next cave, which has a very simple one floor layout...
Leading us to two more golems. 7 heads.
South of those two caves is another on the south end of the map that is devoid of anything at all... but NWW of it...
Fuck! FUCK ME! Asshole!
We go directly north from that cave...
It has our first double golem battle. Still not that much a threat. To Random. Can kinda easily take out Leona and especially Cecil, though. Not that we particularly need them.
9 heads.
The last cave has nothing but this mithril.
So on to the second area.
A golem that always walks away from you gets stuck in an unreachable spot rather frequently. Just enter the cave and come out and then you can nail him. Ten heads. Roman had said ten heads would be great, but...
11 heads. Then we enter that cave there.
Cherry hornets are also here and can't do shit to us.
12!
A triple fight is actually fairly dangerous even to Random, and Leona and Cecil are absolutely useless in them. They'll be easily KO'd, so just have them defend and heal themselves. Even doing that, Cecil could go down in one turn if focused on.
15 heads.
Over to the east.
We get ambushed by two golems going up. Thankfully, the third doesn't join in. Leona and Cecil both get KO'd during this fight and I couldn't be assed reviving them. 18 heads.
You know, these maps use a FFIV track that I think is the moon overworld theme?
And we have Cecil.
Anyway, this platform has a path leading to the previous match.
Random solos these three with a few turns of Spin Attack. 21 heads.
Eh.
Back to the second map.
22 heads...
23 heads...
We can't reach these two because Random.. hates walking in ditches or something? Is that meant to be a hole showing a lower level of grass covered mountain in Indy's mind?
Finally enter the cave in the centre of this area...
We immediately hit a fork.
The right leads to a large cavern with this shield Random can't use, and the other two can't equip because we cannot alter their gear.
There's also a spiderless hole in the ground.
All that's down here is a empty chest in another large cavern. Thanks Indy.
Backtrack and go left...
We immediately hit another fork. Except the right path is blocked at the spot I have pictured.
So up the left way.
Motherfucker.
One fight with a Mountain Lycose later, we go down the hole. First time a spider hole let us enter or rewarded us in any way at all.
It sends us to the other side of the blocked path.
And that's the 24th golems feet.
And out to the last two! We can't go back into the well, so...
Back to Tyrine!
When we get back to Roman, he's surprised how quickly we have returned.
Random starts dropping the golem heads on the floor.
We have to count each and every one.
Anyway, Roman says he doubts any of the other teams will have anywhere as many even if they take all day.
Random says something about Thomas only getting 5 or 6 heads at most.
Definitely.
We cut to another scene now.
He said Chaz!
Thomas immediately asks if they can leave now and Roman says NOPE WANT THE LOSERS TO SEE AND HEAR WHAT THE REWARD IS TOO!
WOOO
Random, Leona and Cecil immediately go out to celebrate.
Guanidia just laughs and then is silent for the rest of the scene.
Random says there's not much to tell and Leona says they already know he has an elf girlfriend.
I was going to joke about Thomas e-stalking and hacking Randoms MySpace but this game predates MySpace by some months.
He lurks Randoms LiveJournal instead.
'a beautiful elf.'
Random also winds up correcting them that he's from Mt. Zulle and not Rillia. And that he did some minor heroics before coming to Tyrine. That's all!
End scene.
A new day! To school once again! Guanidia still won't do anything!
That looks like trouble.
We are in fact about to get one of the few 'good' parts of this game.
Thomas is starting out strong, here.
Anyway, Thomas starts ranting about how Randoms success was all luck because he had the 'bitch called Leona.'
Thomas then starts going on about how there's many trials and combats over the course of a year and Random counters that he's not the one that wants to win at all costs.
Thomas' counter is to say that Random won't be so comfortable losing as he thinks he is or when...
Just an absolutely incredible dialogue box here.
He follows that up with saying Sarah is 'just a hot ass' and is about to say more when Random interrupts.
Thomas just calls Random a jackass and threatens to 'welcome Sarah with his own personal manners' if she ever comes to Tyrine, so Random suckerpunches.
Random immediately confesses to domestic abuse.
I mean, seriously... what.
Does he mean he lends Sarah his manners or something??
I also love this line because I always read it in the way a small child might say they're not bad!!!! I'm not bad!!!
Random says he'll use his sword next time.
This is a hate-date.
Also, I haven't mentioned this yet, but Leona's entry in the game manual say she's 19 so Thomas is likely around the same age. So a technically grown-ass man is threatening a dumbass teenager and his elf gf.
Thomas wanders off after arranging the date, so we head to the school.
There's a new sign here. You can look at everyone's accomplishments across the year. Even for the extremely minor characters like Mike.
Apparently, everyone has killed a 'Lion of the High Lands' and some people, but not all, passed a dexterity test.
Also, there's an untranslated line here.
Cecil's here...
Thomas brags about being the best swordsmen here...
Random says it looks like they'll fail to become Crusaders at the rate they're going. At least that's what it seems like he's saying. He might have meant Thomas specifically.
Earnest has a portrait but doesn't matter.
Leona's doing some strength training and Random's all 'you're not weak.... FOR A GIRL!'
Too slavish to get upset at Random, yes.
He said Chaz!
The man himself (Chaz!) and Mike are dueling. We cannot speak to them, but we can get in their way so the animations stop playing. Hi.
Roman makes up some bullshit about Randoms greatest rival being Leona. I don't understand it but okay.
The duo go report to Roman and then head into the little battle ring.
We immediately one-shot her with Quadra Metal. You're allowed to lose this fight, too. IN which case, Random and Leona agree he was too tired and he goes home to take a nap.
There he is. Chaz!
Now it's Randoms turn to start talking up Leona.
Leona scolds Chaz!
And that's the scene.
God, I love frozen tea. Let's go home.
The postman just left a huge and heavy package with Guanidia.
Well. Here we are. This is it. I've honestly never understood the exact intent of this scene.
After some trouble opening it (Random notes the chest is EXTREMELY well locked) he finds...
Yes.
Random says Wendie looks exhausted.
Seriously.
Charly has apparently gone on the run because he pissed someone off. We never find out anything about this ever. It's most likely just a lame excuse on Indy's part to keep Wendie with the party without her becoming romantically entangled with Random.
Charly writes that Random can have Wendie work as a maid, secretary and masseuse but no more than that. No fucking. He even notes he's told Wendie she is not allowed to sleep with anyone.
ahfbrjsgdthft HE MAILED YOU IN A FUCKING BOX! LIKE AS NOT IT TOOK FUCKING WEEKS!
This is the most baffling part of this. Being a maid is literally all she does here. She gets no subplot and she doesn't even help Random OR Guanidia with any of their stuff. She's just here. For no reason. You could cut her out of LP2 and reintroduce her in LP3 and nothing would be lost and we would gain the fact that this doesn't exist. Incredible.
Anyway, they put her in the spare bed, after Guanidia misunderstands Randoms intentions.
the end