Toggle Background Color
Hello everyone! Like I said last time, we have just enough respect to start the next mission. But first...
I'm not grabbing these in any particular order. I'm just getting them as I see them. I'm sure this won't come back to bite me in the ass when I'm trying to finish out the collection. 
Hiring Rush
Another body is thrown on top of the pile. The downside of squatting in a place that you literally killed for is having to clear it out. And between Playa and Gat, they killed a lot of folks.
"Ya know, this ain't exactly what I had in mind for my day..."
"We gotta clean this place out."
"Yo, I'm not a fuckin' janitor..."
Tired of hearing Gat bitching about having to do actual work instead of killing stuff, Playa finally loses her cool with him.
"No shit, you're a goddamn diva."
"Come on, this is the kinda shit people who just got canonized should have to do."
"Good idea, we'll just ask some of the crew for help."
Playa bends over and asks one of the nearby corpses for help. She even kicks his head for emphasis.
"Hey buddy, wanna help? No?"
"Looks like we're doin' this ourselves."
"That's my point. We can't really run a gang if we don't have, ya know..."
"A FUCKING GANG."
"You said it yourself; most of the old crew are either dead or busted by Troy. We're gonna have to start fresh."
"Yeah, well let's get on that, 'cause I'm done moppin' up blood."
The pair of them turn to leave the hideout. Playa is just as tired of doing work as Gat even if she never put voice to her mounting annoyance.
"This kid Carlos helped me bust out, he seems alright but we're gonna need more...whatchu thinkin'?"
"Yo, I met some people in jail who might work, let me make some calls."
Gat fishes in his pocket for his phone while he continues talking.
"Once I find out where these bitches are you're gonna have to show them that you're the real deal though....they won't just follow anybody."
"It won't be a problem."
"Hey, before you go, what sort of crew you lookin' for?"
The game fades out before Playa can answer. The wiki thinks that was supposed to be the introduction to gang customization. We'll visit that menu later on, though.
Truth be told, I recorded for over 4 hours the other day and didn't touch the customization at all. The only reason I stopped recording was the game crashed and I decided I was done for the day.
"Hey Carlos, you want a job?"
"A job? Here I thought I'd be offering one to you. What sorta job you got in mind?"
"I'm putting the Saints back together."
"I'm in. Meet me at the Rim Jobs in the Suburbs."
Playa grabs a random Compton sitting in the parking lot and makes off. Her phone almost immediately rings, with Gat on the other end.
"Hey, both my contacts want to meet you in the Suburbs. I'll text you their locations in a minute."
"I'm heading up that way to meet Carlos as well. Gimme a call if you need a hand recruiting."
"Nah, I got this. Go get your lieutenants."
Way over in the 'burbs...
I always get Carlos first.
Carlos gives Playa a wave as she walks up.
"I'd love to help the Saints but first I need you to do me a favor...a deadbeat friend of mine owes me money. Can you help me repossess his car?"
"Sounds like fun."
Playa climbs up into the cab of the tow truck and turns the key in the ignition. Carlos buckles himself into the passenger seat.
"How ya been?"
"Pretty busy."
"Yeah, I heard what you did at Johnny's trial..."
"I couldn't let him fry. You know Gat from jail?"
"Ya know I saw Johnny in prison once...he didn't look like a really happy guy..."
"He's happy enough when he's killing somebody...seriously though, he's a good guy, just don't piss him off."
"Turn here. His car's in the cemetery."
"There it is. Back up to the car and I'll hook her up."
With Carlos's expert guidance, Playa backs the truck up to the hearse and then he secures it to the towing hook.
Once back in the cab, Carlos signals Playa to take off while he pulls out his phone.
"Hey Ramon, what's up?"
"Listen I don't got a lotta time I was just calling to let you know that I stole your car."
"Are you there? Great. Here's the deal, if you don't want your car cubed I really suggest you pay me what you owe me...talk to ya later Ramon."
The hearse makes controlling the truck a lot harder than it needs to be, and Playa finds herself fishtailing all over the road as a result. But regardless, she can't help but smile at Carlos once he's done on the phone.
"You know, Carlos, I wondered if you had it in you to be a Saint. But I really think you've got what it takes."
"So am I in the Saints?"
"Yeah, you're in, Carlos."
"When Julius formed the Saints, my brother was one of the first to join up. He wasn't as smart as Dex, or as tough as Johnny, but he was loyal. He believed in the Saints enough to die trying to defend their church. The Saints need to reclaim this city because I don't my brother to have died for nothing."
"We'll do right by your brother's memory. And you'll be right there with me helping to make it happen."
"That's good to hear. I'm glad it's you in charge. I think he would have been, too."
Playa weaves the truck back into place in front of the Rim Jobs and hops out. Carlos walks around the truck and the pair trade hugs.
"I'll meet you at the old mission."
"See ya there."
Playa hops in a Nordberg and zooms off to her next meeting: a guy who, according to Gat, asked to meet in an empty lot.
"Sup, I'm Pierce. If I'm gonna run with you I wanna see you fuck some Ronin' up..."
"Any specific Ronin or..."
"Check it out, there's three groups of the fuckers been hasslin' folks in the 'burbs all day. We take them out, it's win/win for us and for the city."
"Shit, sounds good to me."
Just down the street, Playa and Pierce come across the first group of Ronin.
"Looks like we got similar taste in firearms."
"Good old Tombstone hasn't steered me wrong before."
"So what's your deal?"
"My deal is that I'm the total package. You need someone shot? I can do it. You need someone to strategize? I can do it. You need to score court side tickets? I can do it. Ya know what the only thing I can't do is? Be stopped. ...Or figure out how to play pai gon poker, cause that shit don't make a damn bit of sense."
"Sounds like you're gonna be a real asset to the Saints, then."
"Damn right I am."
The second group of Ronin turn up in a nearby playground.
Once again, Playa's Tombstone takes care of them in short order.
"Damn girl, you don't fuck around."
Back in the car, Playa turns the dial from 99.0 to 102.4, her standby station.
"Klassic 102.4. We just got a special request in for some Sousa. This one goes out to you, Major Temple! Your men want to congratulate you on your promotion."
John Philip Sousa - King Cotton March
"The fuck is this?"
"John Philip Sousa."
"I know that. Why are we listening to this shit?"
"Because I'm driving and I like it."
"Me and you, we're gonna work on your musical tastes."
The last group of Ronin are down here near this bridge.
"I'm definitely down for bein' with your crew."
"Good, meet me at the abandoned mission house."
"I'll be there."
All the way down near the water is...
Gentlemen of the Row moved them around, but there's a config option to put them right back where they were. I'll be finding all 50 of these across the LP because every 10 CDs you find unlocks a new song for your mixtape station.
Pierce kind of awkwardly stands around. We'll just give him some space.
Last person on Gat's list is a woman he met in prison. His text warns that she's a bit of a space cadet, however. So Playa isn't quite sure what to expect.
"Hey I'm Shaundi."
"Your voice is really familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?"
"Um... maybe? Were you at that party I was at last night?"
"No."
Playa climbs into the Hammerhead muscle car and revs the engine to listen to her purr.
"This sucker's got some serious power under the hood."
"Damn right it does. Let's take it for a spin. Show me what you can do in this thing."
"So how do you know Gat?"
"Back when I was in jail Johnny and I set up a pruno ring. The stuff had a 20% chance of makin' ya go blind, but man did it have this great oak-y flavor ya know what I mean? Well, ya probably don't 'cause you were in a coma but you get what I'm sayin'."
"Hold on, we're gonna Dukes of Hazzard this bridge."
Stunt jumps have an associated unlock, but I'm probably not gonna get that because these things always suck in any game.
"Niiiice. Anyway, please, continue."
"The point is that I was the only person who could make the stuff without killin' somebody, so I'd handle the pruno and Johnny would just beat the hell outta people until they'd buy from us. It was pretty cool..."
Playa and Shaundi cruise around the trailer park until Shaundi spots a broken highway that she points out.
"Hey, there's a couple big jumps there. Think you can take 'em?"
"Just watch."
The Hammerhead no sooner lands than Playa throws the car into reverse and backs down the broken piece of highway. The jump at the top is calling her name.
"Hold on, we're gonna go for gold here."
And this is why I'm probably not doing the stunt jumps challenge. Because getting them to trigger feels arbitrary.
The car arcs through the air. Playa leans forward in her seat, knuckles white around the steering wheel. Shaundi looks over the side and casually takes a hit off her joint like it's no big thing.
The Hammerhead lands on the highway with a shriek and groan that indicates the suspension is about to collapse under the weight of Playa's abuse of the vehicle.
"Whatchu say we go meet the rest of the boys Shaundi?"
"Good times, let's go..."
Welcome to the Third Street Saints
The hideout is full of shouting and yelling bodies wearing purple. The air is thick with the smell of blood and sweat. Gat is in the middle of the carnage, smashing his head against a new recruit's.
Gat falls upon the recruit and continues to beat the ever loving tar out of him.
The onlookers cheer and yell, all of them caught up in the brutality of canonization.
And down the stairs comes Playa and her handpicked lieutenants.
Playa shoves past the assembled crowd.
"What the hell is going on?"
Her voice isn't full of anger, just confusion.
Gat lands one last punch and then straightens up to his full height and turns around at the sound of Playa's voice cutting through the din of the crowd. All the shouts die down instantly.
"I had to do some canonizing. Hold up..."
Gat points at a random person in the crowd.
"You...you're next."
"Wait, what?"
The canonizing fights continue in the background while Gat steps away to talk with Playa.
"Sorry 'bout that."
"Where'd you find these guys?"
"Like I said, I made some calls..."
Carlos's eyes have been the size of dinner plates the whole time he's been down in the hideout. He finally speaks up to ask...
"You guys actually hang out down here?"
Shaundi steps up to answer him. Like Playa and Gat, she can see the potential in this place.
"I dunno...add a flat screen, some throw pillows and a hookah and this place would be alright."
Pierce, meanwhile, has his own thoughts on what the place is missing. One that aligns with previously-stated goals.
"You definitely need a stripper pole in this bitch."
"Definitely."
"Yeah."
"Oh yeah."
Playa turns around and starts climbing the stairs. Time to claim her throne.
"So whatta we do now?"
"We listen."
The fights all wind down as Playa ascends the stairs. All eyes turn to the diminutive woman as she poses in front of the broken statue to address the crowd.
"Alright, everybody listen up, we got some serious shit to discuss. The Saints used to own Stilwater and it seems like the only muthafucka's that remember that is me and Gat."
"I think it's time we give those other crews a wake up call."
The crowd cheers for Playa, who smiles briefly, but also holds her hands out to quell the cheering. She's got more to say.
"Now I ain't gonna lie, a lotta shit's changed since I've been outta the game, so I'm gonna need some help."
"Pierce, you're on the Ronin. I wanna know who's callin' the shots and what businesses they're running."
"Done."
"Shaundi, you got the Sons of Samedi."
"It's gotta be them?"
"Fuck you say?"
"It's cool...I...I got this."
"Carlos..."
"The Brotherhood, I'm on it."
"'Aight. Once we're done here talk to one of these guys...they'll have something for you to do. It's our time now...let's get this shit started."
The cheers resume, and this time the Boss does nothing to stop them.
quote:
Apparently, it has all been leading up to this. It began with a presumably benign prison break, but it has ended with the resurrection of the dreaded Third Street Saints. Residents have reported multiple sightings of the purple clad crew roaming the area, doing anything and everything to impress possible recruits -- from gang related killings to dangerous joyriding. The gang has kept relatively quiet, but we at the Stilwater Gazette can only assume this is indeed just the calm before the storm.
We do not have enough respect to play more missions. So that's what we'll be doing for the next several updates - fucking around to earn more respect!
Also, now that the Saints have been reestablished, random Saints will spawn in friendly territory and will walk around doing stuff. We can hit D-pad up near one of them to recruit them to our personal entourage and they'll follow us around and help us out in combat. Supposedly you can do this for most story missions, but I never see the need to.
Anyway, see you guys next time for a bunch of races, stealing cars, killing people, and much, much more.