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Hello everyone and welcome back. This is another silly loading screen bit I saw while loading up the game today to re-record this update. I had to re-record this mission, and the next one, because my game decided to bug out.
Playa decided she was gonna attend the Vivec school of painting your body and so the whole mission looked goofy. The issue went away upon re-recording though. I wanted to preserve it to show you all that this game gets some bizarre bugs sometimes.
Before we launch into the meat of today's update, let's take a moment to look at the gang customization.
This icon deep in our base lets us customize the gang. So let's see what options Gentlemen of the Row has given us. Bear in mind that these are decisions I made in the previous recording session I had to bin. But we can go over them quickly regardless.
The "80s" gang type appears to be beach-goers.
"Bodyguards" are cowboys.
"Gangsters" are hippies.
"Pimps 'n Hos" are airline workers.
"Prephop," whatever that is, have become Fast Food mascots.
And lastly, the "Sporty" type are what appear to be milkmen. Sure, why not? As we progress through the game, we'll unlock more gang types and I'll show those off then.
If you guys feel particularly strongly about Playa using a specific type of gang, just speak up and I'll be glad to change over to them. Right now we're rolling with Hippies because the idea of it makes me smile.
Next up is the gang "sign." I'm just using Woof Woof Woof here because it's generic. Every one that Playa can use can also be used here. I almost never touch this because it almost never comes up.
Next up is Gang Tags. These are what we spray over tags with, naturally. I like the default Domini de Vici one.
Let's... leave the SERC in Saints Row 3.
SA grenade is another strong choice!
Let's be honest, when was the last time any of you gave any thought to Penny Arcade?
According to a source that would probably know, these are the people behind RUST and GMod. Good to know?
Anyway, I'm sticking with Domini de Vici because it makes spray painting easier.
The last three options are gang cars. I'm not going over every option because that would pad the update out unnecessarily. But we're using...
Bootlegger - Two door American-made muscle car. Got a big engine under the hood. Good for getting around fast.
The Nordberg remains one of my favorite vehicles in this game for reasons I've already covered.
Type 3 is the Zimos, because apparently an unfunny auto tune pimp has a car named after him. Keep your eye out for the Kinzie, a small car with an annoying, high-pitched squeal when you accelerate.
Anyway, up in Playa's office/room we can find this newspaper clipboard. This lets us replay missions.
The three main gangs each have 15 missions, counting strongholds. So despite how the previous three updates may have felt, there is a definite end to my meandering play style.
I almost always star with the Samedi first, and this LP is no exception.
Pipes are for Suckers
Playa is lounging on the steps of the Saint headquarters, checking her new weapon, a GDHC .50. The gun itself fits nicely in the palm of her hand, and she can't help but admire the smooth action of every part of the weapon. The fact that it fires .50 caliber bullets is just icing on top of a beautiful cake.
Ignore the fact that the weapon is blatantly a VICE 9. Saints Row 2 was from a time before they could keep the same weapons between cutscene and gameplay.
Just as Playa finishes her inspection of her new favorite weapon, Shaundi comes sauntering up, holding a light bulb.
"Hey, I got you a present..."
"A light bulb, just what I always wanted..."
Despite the sarcasm, Playa sets the gun down and shifts her attention fully to Shaundi, curious what the lieutenant assigned to the Samedi has for her.
"Come on, you think I'd just give you a light bulb?"
With that rhetorical question, Shaundi smashes the bulb against the stone railing and shows it to Playa.
A sly smirk creeps onto Playa's face and she can't resist the urge to make another jab at Shaundi.
"A face shredder, just what I always wanted..."
"Smoke this."
Not the least bit bothered by her boss's playful jabs, Shaundi ignites a lighter and holds it to the base of the bulb. Immediately, fumes and smoke starts emerging from the destroyed object.
"Ever hear of a pipe?"
"Pipes cost money... money that can be used for drugs or shoes. Bulbs are also a lot less likely to attract unwanted attention from the cops."
With her lesson out of the way, Shaundi holds the broken bulb up under Playa's nose. The fumes from inside waft up into Playa's sinuses, causing her to wave the bulb off after a few seconds.
"What is it?"
"It's the Sons of Samedi's number one product, they call it Loa Dust."
"But you smoke it."
Shaundi eases onto the step that Playa is seated on.
"They suck at marketing, what can I say? The point is that this shit is all over campus... I mean, frats are buyin' it by the pound. If we get enough of the stuff we might find out how to make it ourselves."
"And then we sell it for cheaper and steal their market."
"Exactly."
"How much stuff we talkin'?"
"I dunno, 3 pounds? Two for science, one for the weekend?"
"I can live with that."
"Pierce's been talkin' up some plan he's come up with for the Ronin. He had me making friends with some casino croupier. Might make a pretty good way to celebrate that."
"Pierce is way too straight-laced to smoke this stuff."
"That's why weed exists. Duh..."
A Nordberg is waiting outside the hideout for Playa. She hops in, turns the key in the ignition, and sets off for the university.
She doesn't get too far before her phone starts ringing.
"Talk to me."
"Listen, when you get to SU be careful when you're taking on the Sons of Samedi."
"A gang with a French-sounding name. That is scary."
"They're not just gang bangers, these guys are outta their damn mind. For God's sake they're named after the vodoun lord of the dead."
"You never struck me as the superstitious type."
"Just be careful, okay?"
"Don't worry, Shaundi, I don't like getting killed. I'll be careful."
Paramore - Misery Business
Playa hangs up and tosses her phone into the passenger seat.
She figures that she should check the university docks first, as that's where she always scored weed in college.
Finding the Sons of Samedi is not especially difficult. They're all wearing bright green and are waving guns around.
The first group drop in seconds. They barely have time to register that someone is gunning them down before .50 caliber rounds turn their heads into overripe watermelons.
Playa pats down the dealer's pockets and finds an actual brick of Loa Dust, as well as orders from someone with the initials VC.
It's worth pointing out, if this was real life, Playa would not be able to dual wield these GDHC .50s. They're modeled after Desert Eagles. A deagle has enough power that a grown man needs to brace himself well or he'll get knocked back by firing it.
Playa is a small woman. A best case scenario would have her breaking her wrists from the kickback alone. This is one of those cases where I'm not even gonna try justifying it narratively.
It's gonna be even funnier later in the LP when she picks up and starts maining the AR200 SAW, which we last saw her wielding in the first mission's turret section.
Playa hops in her car and speeds off. Several streets over, she suddenly slams on the brakes when she catches sight of something strange out of the corner of her eye. Was that a...?
Yes it is! With an attention-grabbing whistle, she jerks her head back at the Nordberg. The random Saint walking around the university looks surprised, but quickly falls in line behind his boss.
Technically we could only do this because this is a mission replay. But may as well use random Saints as homies if you can, even in easy missions like this one.
The pair jump out of the Nordberg and jog off toward the nearby Samedi. As soon as they're close enough, a cavalcade of gunshots erupt from them, taking the dealer and his muscle by surprise. Just like the first time, the group of disorganized Sons fall quickly.
Playa scoops up the second brick of Loa Dust and immediately dials Shaundi.
"Getting the dust wasn't a problem."
"You got great timing, I just got a tip that Mark Gabby is slinging near by. The guy brings in a lot of money for the Samedi... taking him out should hurt them pretty bad."
"Consider it done."
"Great, boss. Call me when he's dead."
The relief in Shaundi's voice is palpable even through the shitty speakers of the phone. Playa has to quietly laugh to herself once she hangs up. Was Shaundi really worried about her getting killed by some nameless idiots slinging to idiot college students? Shaking her head and suppressing a laugh, she and her follower both make their way back to the Nordberg.
Playa tosses the random Saint one of her TK3 Urbans while she drives through the streets, eyes peeled for cars in Samedi green.
"We're gonna take out a guy named Mark Gabby. He's supposed to be a big earner for the Sons."
"Mark's on the road that goes around the Quad and the Student Union building. Take a right up here and head down the street."
Acting on the tip from her passenger, Playa quickly tracks down Mark Gabby. She slows down as she pulls up beside the green car. Gabby, however, is paranoid as hell and takes off as soon as he spots the purple Nordberg.
What follows is a hectic chase through the streets and parks around the university. Playa has to keep one arm on the steering wheel, but her passenger is able to lean out the window and spray gunfire at the retreating car.
It is very easy to fail here if you underestimate Mark Gabby. The first time I recorded, I failed here because I got caught in the mini-park here. By the time I got free, he was too far away for us to catch back up.
Playa joins in with her own shots when she's able to, and soon the pair manage to hit something important. The car catches fire while the Sons inside bail.
Playa retrieves the third brick of Loa Dust less than foot away from the burning corpse of Mark Gabby.
"Jesus, talk about lucky breaks."
Back in the car, she once again dials Shaundi's number.
"The bastard tried to run. But I took care of him."
"Good times. Now get me the dust, and I can start working on our little science project."
"I assume you're not at the hideout anymore?"
"Nope, come by the Apartments. I'll text you the address in a minute."
Using her passenger as a navigator, Playa soon enough finds the place where Shaundi is. She can hear the pounding music from outside - evidently a pretty good party is happening.
General's Orders
Elsewhere in the city, later that day, a green limo cruises through Shivington.
Inside the limo, a very powerful man takes a long drag off his cigar. On the wall behind him, to either side, he is flanked by a veritable armory of weapons, starting with a pair of K6 Krukovs and ending with enough VICE 9s to outfit a small gang. Whether the weapons are fully functional or are just for show is immaterial, because their presence alone gives this man all the refined air of a warlord. This limo is his domain and he rules it with an iron fist.
"Gentlemen, how was business today?"
A young man dressed like a hippie hands over a wad of cash to the third man in the limo.
"Here's today's take..."
The wad of bills is passed to the man in charge, the General, and he weighs it in his outstretched hand.
"There are many singles where fifties should be..."
The man dressed like a hippie shifts awkwardly as he feels the intense stares of both other men on him.
"Yeah, about that...I couldn't get a hold of some of my guys..."
"These men steal from The General?"
"No, I'm not sayin' they're stealin'..."
The third man in the limo turns to have a quiet, private discussion with the General, cutting out the hippie altogether. This annoys him, and not a little bit.
"Yo, Papa Shango, I'm talkin' to The General."
Neither the General, nor his Second, are amused at the hippie's line.
The Sons' Second, is Mr. Sunshine, for the record. Seriously.
"On the streets you may be a popular DJ, Veteran Child...but when you're in this car you'd do well to remember your place."
Veteran Child is now actually pissed off. Forgetting that he's not dealing with easily-scared college kids, he adjusts his glasses and leans forward, giving both men a stare down his nose. It's a look he's used many a time on his dealers. The third man in the limo is not impressed.
The General would rather not pay to get this kid's blood out of his limo, so he very calmly intercedes and pleads for civility.
"My friends, please, be civil. Veteran Child... look into the matter of the missing money."
"If one of your bag boys is indeed alive, take one of his hands... I doubt he will be late again. If he is not alive, I think we have a greater problem."
Despite his refined air and his call for peace, The General's words give a small peek his underlying ruthlessness.
"You want me to cut off some dude's hand?"
"If he stole from me, he needs to learn. Pain, I find, makes a very effective teacher. If you want to rise in this organization, you would do well to understand this lesson early."
"Yeah, that makes, um...sense."
Sensing weakness, the third man narrows his eyes and leans closer toward Veteran Child. While the radio DJ had failed with a similar tactic moments before, this man pulls it off with aplomb. He can communicate menace and imply a threat with four simple little words.
"Is there a problem?"
Veteran Child can't help but feel like he's facing a firing squad. He quickly recovers his bluster and reassures both the General and his second.
"No! I mean, it's no problem, I got this..."
The limo continues on its way through Shivington.
quote:
Campus officials are still trying to sort out exactly what took place today after a deadly shootout near the student union. It is presumed that members of the Sons of Samedi were on campus pushing their designer drug "Loa Dust" before being assaulted by the Third Street Saints. However, officials say no Loa Dust has been found, leading many to believe the Saints procured it for themselves before vanishing.
And that's the first mission of the Sons of Samedi! Short and sweet and nice and easy. I'm gonna be jumping between all three gang stories in this LP, which paces the game out nicely. Every couple of missions usually ends with you having to wait for something, which will give us time to continue the other two storylines while we "wait."
So with that said, join me next time as the Saints tackle a casino heist in the first Ronin mission. Also there is no Jane Valderamma news story for this one because why would she report on a couple gang bangers getting killed?