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S02E14: And Nothing Of Value Was Learnt.
Decoy Badger" post="524616358 posted:
So far, the dominant themes that have jumped out at me are breasts and bullshit educational approaches. So I'm guessing that Koryool is going to ogle some titties, meet someone pointlessly long-winded and retrieve some poorly contextualized artifact.
Errant and myself were laughing and slapping our knees about the high expectations expressed in this post.
Last time: We finished Luci's Destiny, and begin Coryool's.
Bet you forgot Leanda even existed, right?
I want to point out that the first thing you hear in this destiny is the deep distorted villain laugh Indy provided as a sound effect to go with this dialogue box. It's pretty funny.
So... Yes Coryool fakes us out about caring about the training course. He's more interested in going drinking.
The premise of this destiny is that Coryool Absolutely Does Not Give A Fuck.
Also Coryool keeps barrels of red wine all over to keep from running out.
And he complains about not having a woman around to clean his kitchen.
Also, he just sleeps on a sack.
It's like your homeless and drunk uncle suddenly coming into a home and great wealth.
I immediately change his equip. The Diamond Fists are a bit weaker statistically, but they double hit.
The hat is... better than nothing. We head downstairs.
More stacks of red wine.
Hm.
There's nothing in Leanda's room right now but a dog that Coryool tells to shut up.
Another key is just lying on the floor here.
Leanda's in the dining room...
Coryool just laughs her off, saying he doesn't need a training course even if she does.
Leanda says she's been doing hers for a month and she's really happy with it and might promote to a better class. I want to note that the classes she can promote to are all ones trained in Fanta, but as we saw, Leanda, Wendala and the pets didn't count at all when the Guardians rewarded the party. So I guess Leanda had to settle with a community centre course or something.
Coryool really is just super sexist in this destiny lol. If you don't want to see that kind of stuff... I regret to inform you that this is by no means over. This might be a good update to skim over or skip to the end since none of this crap matters.
Leanda's clearly put off but puts it aside to tell Coryool to try to attend opening day at least.
lmfao genius
He's truly living his best life.
Time to go.
So we've got a small corner of SankT Leona to explore here.
People seriously just leaving keys everywhere.
There's a jammed door on the side of the house. Coryool starts bashing on it so hard a cat falls off the wall and it still doesn't open.
Poor cat. It's spinning around and meowing so... it's... probably fine....
One tile north of the hidden door, though...
MORE keys!!!!!!
Don't remind me of the better game while I'm playing this trash please.
Run into one of our Guardian buddies. He asks if Leanda is single and is puzzled why Coryool isn't all over her. Coryool just says she's not his type.
OH my god, was he really a hobo?
We can also get a practice fight as many times as we like. Coryool takes him down in one attack with double hit. He does like 200 damage to Coryool first tho. You only get 50XP for this fight no matter how many times you do it. Not even sure it counts for the end percentage.
It looks like his head is stuck in the fence but he's not.
Not sure if trolling or stupid.
We can find Leanda's teacher/chapel just south of the statue. She's lying a lot, apparently.
And on the east side of the area, is the tavern.
Coryool gets free drinks.
The tavern is pretty full but the only dialogue anywhere near worth of noting is this guy wanting to bash skeleton bones which I hope is literal.
So... There's no item or equipment store in this destiny, and Coryool has no healing skills. So, uh... you have to make do.
The gym is right across the road from Coryool and Leanda's house.
Dunno why we're here but we are.
A 'sexy brunnette' in the changing rooms hits on Coryool.
Coryool needs every little bit of help.
Can't just wander into the little arena either.
A 'Gorgeous Blonde' immediate starts ranting at Coryool about how girls are just as strong as men even though he didn't even say anything. She opens with a "What The Fuck!" like he did though.
Coryool uhm...
Retaliates with some sexual harassment. The woman reiterates her desire to brutally murder Coryool with her legs.
Not sure how to take this given one of the five masters is an orc.
Coryool makes fun of almost everyone he meets and talks shit about others behind their backs in this scenario, but he seems fond of Caius.
They have a bit of a boring chat about Caius having to fight someone called Bartens whom Coryool claims will try to kick him in the nose.
There's a bar underneath the gym.
So while there's no item shop, we can still find some lying around.
And we can choose between a free Beer or a free Tonic Tea once per day.
Back upstairs, we can talk to the masters we'll soon be fighting.
GP WE CAN'T SPEND
And they've some kind of computer machine here? Or maybe a purely mechanical one?
Anyway, when we talk to the Gym's master, Yulan he says they were 'missing' Coryool.
He tells Coryool that he'll be fighting the old man soon but first he has to backtrack a little.
Gotta go down into the back room.
You have to shut the door behind you or the metal puppets won't move around and thus you cannot attack them for points.
So yeah, you have to run around the room trying to keep up with these thigns that move at a decent clip, to get 100 points. If you're thorough in speaking to every NPC though, one single guy in the bar tells you the left puppet is buggy and gives you many more points per hit than they're meant to. You still have to hit it like 30 times or something. I'm not exactly clear how much points you get, and suspect you may get different amounts depending on the strength of the hit which seems random and is only indicated by sound effects and the screen shaking different amounts or maybe it doesn't affect anything at all and all hits are worth the same amount.
Glad I somehow psychically stopped at 108 points, the number of Stars of Destiny.
The Deport is such a hellhole it only has 3 Stars of Destiny. Sad!
Lucius Lezzi. New instrusive thought.
Damn.
So, I've talked before about how I ground everyone up to level 50 for the promotion stat bonuses. Well, even if you don't care about that, you should still train -at least- Coryool up very high. Because uh... The fights that you're allowed to lose in Coryool's destiny can be very luck based if you haven't maxed him out.
Lucius Lezzi (!) here goes first and does like 300 damage to Coryool per hit. He would absolutely have a good chance of beating Coryool if he was like level 42 or lower and didn't have the diamond fists. It took two turns for my Coryool to beat him even with double hit, and one of those hits was a crit. My Coryool has 900 HP too so good odds the next turn would have resulted in a Lucius Lezzi victory.
He gives us one more optional fight to do before we head out for the day. The fight against the second master will be in ten days too btw.
So here's Greg. Coryool seems to get along with him. His minions and other people in the gym all express surprise Coryool won (Caius seems to have expected a Coryool victory though.)
And yeah, double-hits from Coryool beat these guys in one turn each. They don't even manage to land a hit on Coryool.
Those are really funny sprites tho.
Coryool's gotten a girlfriend named Rebecca who he brags to about his strength and she fawns over him.
The dialogue for the kitchen has... changed. He also comments it has an actual use now that a woman is here.
Leanda's gotten a new boytoy.
Look, I wasn't kidding about Coryool going all in on this during this Destiny.
If we speak to Leanda, Coryool expresses...
... complete and utter satisfaction with how his life is going.
I don't know why Coryool's destiny is the only one that has this day counter thing. His destiny, despite being by far the smallest, also has the most NPCs coming and going and dialogue changing over the days even if I don't show 90% of it. Makes me wonder if Coryool's was the first made and he was burning out after doing Randoms and did Luci and Sarah last.
The Sexy Brunnette has found a boyfriend, who did beat Lezzi and now claims he'll easily beat the minotaur. Either way he's happy with how his life is going.
R.I.P.
Coryool says he'll avenge him.
Grab our free Tonic Tea for the day...
Bartens has appeared and doesn't have much to say.
Yulan tells us to fight the Minotaur next so... He does mention our opponent is very strong but lacks 'pace'.
Even Coryool is faster than him, and because he just gathers power on his one turn, we beat him in two without taking a hit.
Coryool is having a blast laughing at this guy. Yulan says to come back tomorrow to fight Greg and punch the puppets.
Yeah, no fight with Greg and his flunkies today.
If you look at this list of victors, we don't get to see what it says but Coryool does reminisce about the Blazers.
We head home for the night.
Rebecca did in fact cook dinner.
"You'll be amazed, chick!"
Says the dude sleeping on a fucking sack.
He just likes punching people on appointed days for the contest and not doing anything else.
I'm not sure if Rebecca if meant to be sleeping on top of Coryool or the sack or literally just on the floor but either way she's asleep and we head out.
Leanda's room is locked.
Right outside the house this guy is complaining about... seismic activity I guess. He quit.
An apricot has suddenly appeared in this planter.
If you go to the tavern now, this Mercenary who spends the night here is the only one that has anything to say about the seisms.
This guy is here now. Slickdog.
Yulan tells us to fight Greg first.
And this guy managed to beat the minotaur too.
This is what most of these fights look like. Coryool does not take a single hit in this first fight despite the fact it takes him two sets of attacks to K.O each enemy.
In the second fight, there's a red dude. He's the only one that can hit Coryool.
Then back to no hits at all for the final fight.
We head back over to Yulan, who initially tells Coryool to hit the metal puppet some more but...
Yulan decides to let Coryool have his way and fight the third master immediately.
KarKobbon is eager to see Coryool get his ass kicked.
lol. This guy was as easy as KarKobbon. Coryool downed him in two turns without taking a hit.
KarKobbon melts down and leaves. lol.
See you in two weeks!
You know it, Caius.
Coryool rushes towards the tavern.
Rebecca's ditched Coryool, lol. You can definitely do way better lady.
There's a room of the house I haven't shown off yet on the first floor, but you go into it and Coryool uses every single key we've found thus far and none of them work (and they all disappear from our inventory)
Coryool starts pounding on the door and says it won't move at all!
We all know the answer to this. It's no.
Leanda's not even in the house today, so we leave and...
A kid delivers a letter.
He stops to think for a moment. And then jumps in the air as an idea occurs to him.
Absolute brain genius here.
We could handle that right away, but if we wait a little, it will be slightly less painful.
More items just spawning in over time.
New faces...
Only a few people beat Mako.
Well, say what you will about Coryool but he is tough.
Leanda's here because she's a friend!
Bartens is confident. Caius doesn't seem to be here today.
R.I.P.
On to the fourth master now.
I have a few things to say about this fight.
1. That Fairy Floss axe looks delicious.
2. He looks like someone painted the Guardian from the latter Ultima games green. It is a most Muppetlike visage.
That's all. Despite being faster, this is still an easy fight.
Lol.
After the fight, we can speak to Leanda and Coryool asks her to come with him. She says she's not that kind of girl.
He shows her the letter and tells her he doesn't know anything but maybe there's monsters! Why he would think that, I don't know.
On the way out, we find that Dagger Girl has left the dressing room and is lurking around the entry. If you speak to her she calls COryool a fatty fart and Leanda says she sounds angry. Which begins an exchange.
If you talk to her a second time...
And then a third time...
She flies into the wall and vanishes.
Uhhhhhhhh. I think he means in the context of fighting them and not like... abuse... but also a sucker punch is not a fight.
This reads like a wacky, violent, anime comedy scene done terribly wrong and I will make no apologies for it.
also why is there quotes around women
Oh yeah and this scene counts towards the success rate at the end.
Leanda has dialogue with a bunch of NPCs but most of it is thoroughly uninteresting.
Over to the tavern.
So Longbury puts forth his problem and introduces us to Zachariah, who will accompany us.
what would possibly make this funny Coryool. fuck you.
Longbury gives us 5 Tonic Teas and you can find another 5 in this room.
Zachariah is really and truly awfu- Oh my god. He has one of those fucking miserable piece of shit sabers!!! Fuck!!! No wonder he sucks ass!!!!!!! Coryool should be kicking HIS ass!
He has hardly any skills/spells either.
If you go up that north passage we get taunted by glittering treasures.
Time to go on then.
Zach suggests going back for the key but then Coryool just kicks it off the hinges.
There's random encounters here, but nothing worth talking about for now. I grab treasures in a needlessly large dungeon floor.
This dungeon is annoying because none of our party members have high offense or defense.
Eventually we find our way down to the next floor.
If the prior floor was needlessly huge and empty then this floor is... well, even more so of both. It's like three times the size and has many completely empty branches.
We can see our goal right across from where we start too.
There's also more holes that do not lead to more areas, thank Christ.
Trick encounter!
Wonder what this means.
You can't run from these random encounters, but thankfulyl they're a cinch, though they can do a bit of damage before they go. Annoying, because of our limited healing.
Thankfully, they seem to have a decent chance of dropping Necrotears, which you can also just use as 100% heal items.
We run into a snake that hisses at us and flees and gather more treasures.
And run into the snake again...
Ooh!
Sadly, no +5 MP and Mind for Coyrool. Bullshit. I give it to Leanda instead.
Coryool does get +1 HP at least.
Leanda's Sacred Sun takes out the Blood-Bloods and then I have her cast Defense Down and then she joins Coryool in attacking the Zombie Dragon. Zach is AI controlled.
The fight does not actually last all that long but The Zombie Dragon knows Death which we all know Coryool basically absorbs for mysterious unexplained BlackHole Enzyma reasons. It also casts Skull Gazer on Leanda which blows because it drains like 150MP from her!!
When the fights over Zach says Cursed Heavens!
Zach then seems to not recognise the name Yveen and Coryool is amused to have met someone even stupider than himself. That's basically what he actually says.
I want to mention here that Indy has said all of his -many- games take place in the same universe so I wonder if Zach is meant to be from elsewhere.
Just past the dragon hole, we encounter the snake again.
Wooo
The snake was a two-headed worm all along!
Anyway, this isn't really a remarkable fight. The worm has a lot of HP and can do some decent damage, but eh.
The only thing in its cave is this.
So we go to leave and Coryool starts to declare the job is over!
Zach says no.
Zach says no again.
They're like 5 GP or something WHY DOESN'T SOMEONE HAVE ONE! Indy is taunting us.
...
The real reason is so the following can happen:
Now this is the real boss. It's rather nasty too, early in the fight it takes out Zach in one crit and then it does enough damage (and for some reason is singlemindedly attacking her) to Leanda that she does very little but heal herself most of the fight. As such, killing it takes a bit of time.
The party doesn't comment on this fight afterwards, and it only happened a short way from the Zombie Dragon hole so we still have to walk back through 90% of the dungeon. I don't think I got a single random encounter the whole time though, which is something.
This is not a very popular sequence.
When we get back to cellar, Coryool jokes around before Zach tells him it was 'just some fierce monsters.'
The tavern is saved and we depart.
Leanda says this was a good experience for her and that she's going to the chapel, so I decide to follow her.
But nothing interesting is happening there. So time for bed.
Downstairs we go.
A letter is down there.
Hm.
We head out, and I go find our buddy Caius near the tavern first.
He tells us he's heard Darren Hayes is like a furious bull that puts all his energy into his first two attacks.
Inside the tavern we find... possibly Dagger Girl? The purple haired lady at the counter is named Molly and flirts with Coryool.
There he is.
Let's find Leanda.
And we get told to come back later. Great.
The gym is pretty empty today.
So we can finally claim this piece of loot now that the fighters are out of the way.
Nice.
Dirk the Smirk. lol.
Oh, blondie is Benedicte.
Yeah yeah. I got told the secrets of his strategy though!
The tavern is closed off and Greg is nowhere to be seen.
Here's the man himself.
Sexy Brunnette is also here for basically no reason.
And so we get sent off to fight Darren.
He powers up DBZ-style, it's even complete with special effects. An aura and rocks flyign everywhere....
So the fight. You just defend for the first two turns so his DOUBLE HIT CRITS only do 100 damage each.
Then he's so tired he only hits for 100 damage once for each turn after that and it'll only take you a couple turns to win.
Easy with Caius' hint.
After the fight, the Sexy Brunnette introduces herself as Alexandra and hits on Coryool very forwardly.
While Coryool does as Coryool does.
Yulan closes the gym down for a month to train Coryool one on one!
Also, Benedicte is much nicer to Coryool now.
Coryool apparently never gets drunk?
Anyway, to the chapel again, where Leanda needs advice on her promotion, turns out.
Yeah, fuck the nice girl image!
Why
Now we head back for the night and...
Like I said. He's not going to stop.
I pick Benedicte cos she's strong and doesn't take shit. This choice also doesn't really matter. It's just flavour I guess.
You can do better than Coryool but at least you're just doing the bare minimum.
Leanda's also... got a very naive young man in her room.
The chapels been cleared out but the backroom is open now.
Leanda's just being tutored by and doing rituals with a DEMON, that's all.
To the gym!
So this is Yulan's real appearance. For some reason he disguises himself as a younger man.
So this is basically a luck based fight if you don't cheese it. Winnign is optional anyway. You get a stat boost even if you lose, but it's smaller than the victory stat boost.
The cheesing it option is to Use Bomber Y and then use a healing item even if youre not hurt. Basically pre-empting his damage. He attacks first and does like 500 damage so two hits in a row will get you.
Coryool says no thanks but he does accept the offer to train with Yulan some more in the gym when it reopens.
The TRUE training course, to become a BODY MASTER!
So we head home for the night.
GASP
ARGH FUCK! It doesn't work either!!!
TO THE SACK TO SULK!
lmfao that new portrait
So yes he's promoted but no spiel from Yveen yet.
He's also got a different girlfriend now.
Leanda's still got Karl though.
Coryool's lost all his equipment and has literally NOTHING in his spell/skill list.
To the gym!
Great. He recommends we mess around with the metal puppets some more.
So the one on the right has been modified to be a cute minigame about earning 50 points in 30 seconds.
And you get a nice one-time bonus if you do it!
The other puppet is a load of fucking bullshit.
You need to earn 400 points to get +1 attack... another 400 for another +1 attack, another 400 for a third +1 attack... and then 800 for the fourth +1 attack. That's a total of 2000
Even double or triple that wouldn't be worth all that work. Remember these puppets are running around randomly the whole time too!!!!
There is a bug you could exploit here though. If you leave the gym, the point count resets but your attack bonus does not. So you could theoretically grind Coryools Attack up much higher.
But that's legit psycho shit.
I don't even bother with the first +1 attack bonus.
There's a couple mysterious men wandering around.
And Leanda has transformed into Ariel D'Eleficent.
Coryool is almost literally practicing doing Kamehamehas on sacks over there. He's shooting energy beams that explode anyway.
Boy I bet Coryool has some epic backstory to go along with his high resistance to magic and odd immunity to death magic. Especially when a goddess tells us haha actually he was always a badass.
Some time later we cut to Coryool asking Leanda if she's coming with him to somewhere. We will never find out where.
Leanda has literally no spells or equipment until I give some to her.
Two letters block the way out. Yeah the postgame for Coryool's Destiny was mostly the two puppets, plus some loot we can get now.
Coryool seems to think this guy liking Leanda's books is funny.
oops. If you try to look at it again, she confiscates it.
Leanda also has a weird plant in her room that makes noise. The bullshit Coryool is hearing is just Leanda asking 'Betsy' how she's doing though.
There's another new face.
another dog.
Coryool's also got a new girlfriend.
Coryool does succeed in smashing the door off its hinges now that he's promoted and trained a bunch.
Yeah, only Leanda can equip this right now.
So, the letters... The first one was a letter from 4 days ago from Leanda to Coryool, inviting him to see her promotion. But the letter got lost and Leanda's like, oh that's why you didn't show up.
The other...
Fuck!! I missed something and didn't get the bonus.
Now we cut back to the scene from the end of Randoms Destiny, where he, Guanidia and Wendala were pondering a letter from Metrolia.
Randoms going to go on the motivational speaker circuit!!!!!!!
The opening is in three weeks, Random says that's plenty of time for everyone to get letters from him, and prepare and travel to meet him at Metrolia. He immediately sets off to the Post Office to do that.
And that's mostly it for this game. Just some... post-credits stuff to deal with.
There's an extremely long list of credits and special thanks but we're running out of characters here.
So the last thing we have in this game is The Lab.
It's basically a non-canon space to mess around in. You can do some stupid stuff like fuck with weather effcts and colour tints and all, but theres also some lore, both canon and irl. And some pointless quizzes. And Yveen ranking our skill at the game.
Also Indy's artwork!!!
Then we get a just kidding about all that!!!! Lol at Indy assuming female fans would want to sleep with him. Let alone anyone wanting to sleep with Yveen.
Sorry I don't like useless goddesses.
There's some more art but there's some boobs here and there so I shant post them.
Indy once said he stopped drawing entirely by the time he was 20, so you can roughly peg that he was a teenager at this point.
If you wait around in the lab long enough... like ten minutes, and 30 and even hours for the later updates, a ndoe called Yveens Daily News updates with new messages. I just copied the text from RPG Maker.
I like how Ocean's Wind got a sequel no one asked for or wanted but was pretty decent, Ocean's Wind II
Also... 18 month years. That means everyone is like 50% older than their ages indicate...?
Bye Leona! See you in some other life!!!
And that's that. There's other stuff in here, but whatevs. This is all that comes close to really mattering.
Please look warmly and kindly for the next upcoming installment in this series:
!!!!
(alt title: "WHY ARE YOU EVEN LPING THIS??? WHERE IS THE POINT?? I FAIL TO GET IT! - The Duality of Metrolian Man")
the end