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Chapter 86: 7/24: Script Kiddies
This update contains content from Part 72 of the original LP.
Anon: medjed is dangerous……
Daytime
Music: Disquiet
These damn Phantom Thieves are causing us a massive headache… First they bring down Kaneshiro, now Medjed declares war on them… They’re making us look like jokes.
Stress is bad for the skin, you know.
Akechi, shut the fuck up before I make you eat that dorkass tie you’re always wearing. I hope you didn’t come all the way down here just to be sexist at me, because I get plenty of that from everyone else here. Thanks anyway, though.
……
Oh, that got you? God, if only I had known it was that easy to shut you up.
*ahem* Anyway, I have a hypothesis for you, if you’ll indulge me.
I really don’t care, but I’m sensing that won’t stop you. Go ahead.
This may sound absurd, but… don’t you think the actions of the Phantom Thieves share some commonalities with the psychotic breakdowns you’ve been looking into? All involved with both cases have had inexplicable changes of heart…
You didn’t think that was the first thing I suspected? I looked into it but couldn’t find anything to link them. Is that all?
I believe the Phantom Thieves are using their altruism as a smokescreen for terrorist activities by way of psychotic breakdowns.
Sounds like a grand theory, and I can’t totally dismiss it, but I’m going to tell you what I learned from the mentor character in every Ace Attorney game: evidence is king. You got any?
Unfortunately, I do not.
Super.
That bit of insight is just for you, I should add. That information would be wasted on the police.
…Akechi, you didn’t tell me anything.
Didn’t I? Well, nevertheless. I should ask, did you manage to get any information out of the guardian of that mental shutdown victim’s daughter?
I really squeezed him, but no. Nothing worthwhile there. It’ll be really awkward next time I go there for coffee…
I see. Now, what should my next action be for our victory?
Handle the Phantom Thieves. Without remorse. Use any means necessary to win. That’s how I would deal with them.
*chuckle* Way ahead of you there.
This seems to be fun for you. Are you on to something?
Onto something? No. I swear to you right now that I am being completely forthright with you on the hyperspecific issue of having a “hunch” about the Phantom Thieves, which I do not. *cough* Because I already know exactly who they are and how they operate. *cough*
What an odd way to phrase that. Oh well. Maybe get that cough looked at.
Music: Beneath the Mask (Instrumental Version)
This place is in Ginza, right? Do we take the usual train from Shibuya?
Daytime → Evening
Music: Alright
I-I don’t see any prices listed here…
*with mouthful of food* It’s called market price. Don’t worry ‘bout it; we got the cash!
Get back in the bag, cat!
Is Boss really the kind of person who would abuse someone?
You asked me this yesterday. Answer’s still no.
I can’t get it off my mind. Especially if it means he could be taken to court… What kind of person is he? Do you truly believe he’d do such a thing?
Christ, Makoto, drop it. I told you he’s not.
If he really is abusive, he’s had us all fooled. Maybe he’s the one who needs a change of heart.
Why is everyone so ready to discount my opinion? I’m the only one who regularly interacts with this dude.
Everyone slow down for a sec. I got curious after our conversation yesterday and checked his name in the Nav.
Sounds like nothing came up. Good to know… unless he’s using an assumed name!
No! Bad! Stop!
If he doesn’t have a Palace, it’s really none of our business.
Cool. …Wait, holy shit, it never occurred to me that we could be putting random peoples’ names into the Nav. Sounds fun.
You’d think so, but it’s actually pretty depressing how many positives I got.
Hey… You guys think—
No.
I didn’t even say it yet!
You were gonna throw out some gonzo bullshit like “Alibaba is Sojiro’s ex-wife and Futaba is their secret lovechild,” weren’t you?
N-No…
Still, this is delicious. I’ve never experienced anything quite like it before.
It sure is good that we, the Phantom Thieves, did that change of heart on Kaneshiro so that we, the Phantom Thieves, could receive this due compensation for our efforts! As the Phantom Thieves!
DUDE.
Crap…!
Phan… Fanta! That was my favorite soft drink! Thank you for helping to remind me, Ryuji!
No prob.
That’s a weird pick, but whatever.
I’m all in on Faygo!
Why did I come here with you?
Music: Wicked Plan
I dunno guys, I still think they use magic to put the little sticks inside the ice cream.
Hahaha, you said it! What a fun excursion to… wherever we just went that was, chums.
Huh!? Akechi!?
Infiltration failed! I’ve been compromised! Abort mission!
Oh, hey man, what’s up? Did you come looking to see if I wanted to get hustled at pool again?
No, sorry, this is a total coincidence. Hello to your friends as well. I recognize some of them from the TV station, as well as Niijima-san.
Who is this?
Come now, I’m sure you know who I am. Not to brag, but I’m kind of a big deal.
…No, I can’t say I recognize you.
That’s… totally fine, doesn’t bother me at all… But I certainly know who you are, pupil of Madarame.
How do you know that?
Oh, sorry. I recently joined the investigation team looking into the Phantom Thieves, so I’m of course up-to-date on persons close to their victims such as yourself.
Huh, good for you.
Yes, I’m certainly “on the come-up,” as the kids say. I’m very busy lately, though. Especially since Medjed just waged war on the Phantom Thieves.
Huh? When did that happen?
About… *checks watch* …Five minutes ago. They updated their website.
Music: Disquiet
What the…!?
That seems like a rather strong reaction.
She’s, uh… a big fan! Can’t get enough of those Phantom Thieves!
I’m not sure it reflects very well on your character to be a fan of people like them.
I’m not sure it reflects well on your character to wear that dipshit vest.
Whoa, harsh. I’m sensing some unresolved tension here between these two, possibly sexual, but I have no reason to believe Akechi was straight.
I must say, what an eclectic group you’ve gathered here. Prosecutor Niijima’s sister, Madarame’s ex-pupil, and a few students of Shujin Academy… all tied to the Phantom Thieves in some way. It’s entirely possible you all know more than I do about them!
Yeah, maybe I should have your job, ha! Actually, on second thought, I don’t mean that as a joke. Please give me your job, I’d be way better at it.
Dude, what happened to your “eff the police” shtick?
Just because they’re universally bad doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be good at it!
Well, I’ll let you in on my profile of the Phantom Thieves, since you’re all such big fans. The Phantom Thieves are likely a group of gifted youngsters with uncanny abilities who fight against oppression. They have a lot of free time, because they’re all losers, and formulate their plans at their hideout, which is probably just some spot under a bridge or something. And given their start with Kamoshida, they likely began activity in April. …Huh, funny, it almost seems like everything I’m saying describes all of you.
What a weird coincidence. Oh well, crazy things happen every day.
What, you gonna report us?
God, Ryuji, shut up. You just lost your talking privileges for the night.
I didn’t say I was being suspicious of you.
I mean, you kinda did. Anyway, Ryuji’s a Phantom Thief.
Huh!?
What did I just say, man? No talking.
……
Wasn’t expecting that response, I must say. But don’t you think my deduction is interesting? I bet we’d make a great team.
Akechi, you’re being a little too forward. Take me out to dinner fir—oh wait, you already did that. Never mind!
Well, this has been a valuable point of reference for me. I hope to see you all again.
In the base game, that scene was where we got Akechi’s Confidant to Rank 2, so a small bit of dialogue was cut out in Royal to remove that. Nothing too important.
Anyway, I really, really like that Akechi shows up here just to pull an Adachi and casually reveal pertinent information to fuck with his mortal enemies. It’s especially funny that he tells us about his profile of the Phantom Thieves when he already knew we were they.
Do you think he’s ascertained our true identities?
Nah, couldn’t—
*glare*
……
I dunno why we’re acting like we’re any good at hiding our identities. Makoto *and* Alibaba already found out, after all, and we’ve also got this 2000 IQ Brain Genius blurting it out five times a minute.
Anyway, we need to talk about Medjed! Their website says they’re waging war on us!
What does it say?
“Dear people of Japan: Are you guys fucking kidding me with this shit? You’re still worshiping the Phantom Thieves after the undeniable proof we totally owned those lamers? They remain silent, and as punishment for that silence, we will be targeting major financial institutions, like in that really good movie, Fight Club. Have you seen it? Man, I love Tyler Durden. Anyway! Repent, Phantom Thieves! If you do not reveal your identities publicly within one month’s time, we will be forced to punish all of Japan in your place. We are Medjed, yadda yadda.”
These guys aren’t very committed to the whole fight-the-man thing if they’re only going to target banks to get at us. They just want attention. Pathetic.
What can we do about this…?
We need to get in contact with Alibaba… but our only clues are Boss and Futaba. Let’s head over to Leblanc and discuss things for now.
Music: Suspicion
Looks like we got no choice but to ask for Alibaba’s help.
Oops, sorry…
Eh, I’m already sick of enforcing this, you can talk again. Just know you’re on thin ice.
We need to get in contact with Alibaba somehow. If we steal Futaba’s heart, maybe he will contact us again.
But we don’t have any idea what Futaba’s like. There’s no way to get her keywords.
Dammit, Alibaba! Where the hell are you!?
Actually, I’ve got an idea about that.
Huh!?
Out with it, woman!
Alibaba and Futaba are the same person, you idiots. How else would the know if the change of heart happened? Why else would he be unable to meet with us?
Huh, that… makes sense.
But she’s asking us to steal her own heart?
How does that work? Are her distorted desires the scars of abuse?
Are we seriously still harping on this? Sojiro’s not like that.
We should meet with Boss. I’d like to ask him about Futaba.
Okay, I know I just said he’s not like that, but given how apoplectic he was last time some lady came in asking about Futaba—striking resemblance, by the way—he’s probably going to murder all of us if we do that.
So it’s a non-starter, then.
I didn’t say no! Let’s head over to his place right now. It’s extremely close.
What’s our excuse for showing up at his house this late gonna be?
We have this sushi we got for Morgana, let’s say it’s a gift for him.
Noooooooo!
Seems like a flimsy excuse… Whatever, I’ve lived long enough.
Music: Suspicion
But the lights are on…
We’ve rung it a ton, but no response… If Futaba were here, she surely would have answered herself.
Ah, the gate is unlocked.
Dude, you can’t go openin’ other people’s stuff like that.
But look. The door seems to be slightly open as well.
Whoa, it sounds like it’s going to rain… WE should get inside!
…Do you thinks that’s okay?
…Prolly?
My apologies, Boss!
The door ahead is open, and I can hear the TV.
He’s kinda old, right? Maybe he collapsed.
Not funny. I have to live off his kindness, remember?
I wasn’t joking.
I’m a bit worried. Should we go in and check on him?
*whispering* Please excuse us…
Music: Desire
As lightning strikes, the power goes out.
Aaaaaaaa!
Aaaaaaaaaaa!
A scream!? What was that!?
H-How should I know?
Jeepers!
Welp, this place is haunted, let’s bail.
I-I concur.
Man, everyone’s hitting on me tonight. Sure, knock yourself out.
Makoto, you do realize that this is not actually you holding my hand, right?
Show yourself, ghost! I-I’m not afraid of you!
AAAAAAAAAA!!!
Futaba does a weird little scared-dance and runs up the stairs.
Alibaba! Futaba! Hey! C’mon, where are you!? You’re a hacker, right? Just show yourself!
I’msorryI’msorryI’msorry! PleasesavemeSis…
I’m sensing some trauma here…
Ah shit. Well, we’re fucked, do we want to accept death peacefully or go down swinging?
I’msorryI’msorryI’msosorrySis… Somebodypleasesaveme…
Music: Wicked Plan
Hello kind sir… We did not intend to intrude upon your domicile…
Wait, are you… Niijima-san? What’s going on? Are you two dating?
Psh, yeah, no. I can do way better.
Huh? You didn’t have to say it like that, but… no, we’re just friends!
Friends nowadays get that close to each other?
Wait, sorry, I’ve kind of lost the plot here. Why the fuck are you in my house?
I see. Ol’ Sojiro’s been too good to let poor ol’ Maaku in his house all this time. You’ve been holding out on me, old man! This place has actual *rooms*! And presumably a shower of some nature!
It doesn’t seem like he’s killing them. We might be okay to come out, guys.
Um, we brought you some sushi, but nobody answered when we rang the bell… The door was unlocked too. We could hear the TV though, so we got worried you might have passed out or something...
Did I really forget to lock the door again? Ugh, getting old sucks…
Excuse me… I’d like to ask you something. There’s someone else living here, isn’t there?
Music: Suspicion
Yeah… My daughter.
Could you be Futaba Sakura…?
You told Niijima-san too!?
U-Um… is there any way we could meet with Futaba-san? I think we may have frightened her earlier, so we’d like to apologize if at all possible…
That’s… impossible, sorry. She’s not… Look, I don’t want you all getting the wrong idea. I shouldn’t have kept this a secret in the first place. Let’s talk back at the shop. She’ll overhear us here.
Music: Alleycat
Futaba’s mother and I knew each other long before Futaba was born. Her mother was a bit of a weird one, but we got along well for some reason… She was sharp-witted, somewhat stern, a little socially inept, but always carefree… She truly was a great woman.
I see…
She would hyperfocus on anything that piqued her interest, and work long into the night. Even after Futaba was born, she didn’t change in that way. Even still, she took good care of her, even if alone.
Was there no father?
No, there wasn’t. I mean, I assume she didn’t make Futaba herself, to be clear. But I never knew him and she never talked abut him. She was single the entire time, until… her suicide. She threw herself into the street, right before Futaba’s eyes.
That’s…
Incredibly fucked up, yes.
A lot happened after her mother’s death, but I ended up taking custody of Futaba. At first, she was too depressed to even speak to me, but I kept pushing and eventually she started opening up. But… I found out Futaba blames herself for her mother’s death.
What!? But why!?
I don’t know the reason, and I’d prefer not to make things worse, so I didn’t ask. But ever since a few months ago, she’s been getting scared for no reason, and saying she hears voices. She even said “Mom is looking at me…”
Visual and auditory hallucinations… Have you taken Futaba to a doctor?
I wanted to, but she refused. Even when I had a doctor come, she locked herself away in her room. Since then, she’s become what you’d call a shut-in. She won’t take a single step outside the house, or even try to see other people.
What about you?
She doesn’t even let me in her room.
That’s pretty harsh…
Futaba is, well, a unique girl. She’s so quick-minded that conversations with her tend to jump from one topic to the next… It seems like she’s always coming to conclusions in her head. There’s a lot I don’t get about her… So yeah… her situation is why I couldn’t let you in my house.
Hey, don’t worry about it. Basic amenities are overrated when you have the sickest bachelor pad in the world like I do.
What Futaba needs is a safe place where nobody will threaten her. Somewhere she can be at ease. That’s why I won’t do anything she doesn’t want. I don’t make her do anything she’s unwilling to either. Then again, I know that’s no way for her to live. It’s all I can do though...
Sounds rough for the both of you.
Maybe…
Well, that’s that. So can you just… leave her be?
Uhhh… Yeah, sure. Totally not going to disobey you here or anything, no sir!
I’m gonna head back then. You all had better head home soon too.
No way in hell he’s abusin’ her.
The reason why Futaba wants her heart stolen must be related to what happened to her mother.
So she’d like to discard her feelings of pain, but can’t do anything about it herself.
Will changing her heart really help her though?
If we can help her, we may be able to stand up to Medjed.
If we’re going to do this, it should probably be for Futaba’s sake, and not, you know, our own.
Hold on a sec. Do we even know if she has a Palace? Let’s check.
Music: Suspicion
Candidate found.
What the…?
So someone can have a Palace even if they’re not evil? Hey, Morgana—
Oh, huh. Cat’s gone.
When did you see him last? Before we went in Boss’ house?
I dunno. Maybe he’s dead.
Eh, he’ll be fine. Let’s all head home, the trains will stop soon.
And we have the assembly in the morning. Let’s contact each other afterward.
(through headphones) No way in hell he’s abusin’ her.
If we can help her, we may be able to stand up to Medjed.
So someone can have a Palace even if they’re not evil? Hey, Morgana—
CAT
Music: Beneath the Mask
Music: Suspicion
Lemme guess: the chief told you about Futaba, and then you disbanded.
How the hell do you…?
You can’t underestimate my intel-gathering skills, you know.
Anyway, I was in the chief’s house this whole time. I saw Futaba. She seems about the same age as you guys… She heard your entire conversation, by the way, and she can hack into our group chats.
So much for that private conversation…
We’ll need her help to get closer to Mejded. Let’s meet up again tomorrow. Here works, it’s too hot outside for the usual hideout. Make sure you let everyone know.
Music: Interrogation Room
Wait… you’re telling me that while Medjed was targeting you, you were dealing with an unrelated problem?
It’s not like we could have just marched up to Medjed and stolen their heart, genius. We had no leads on them. Besides, this seemed a little more important.
Medjed was going to destroy the Japanese economy!
Yeah, exactly. Less important shit.
Then how did Medjed get taken down…? But nevertheless, it seems that you’re not lying about the Sakura family. All you’ve told me here lines up with our own investigation.
You seriously still thought it was possible I was lying to you?
Hmph. If you’re lucid enough for jabs, you can get back to your story. It’s still unclear to us as to how the Phantom Thieves dealt with Medjed since their identity is unknown. If you tell me something coherent, I may be a little more willing to believe you.
It seems Sae Niijima is starting to seriously listen to what I have to say…
Still, to think the Phantom Thieves would have their hideout in the home of Wakaba Isshiki’s daughter. What a coincidence… No, perhaps it’s fate…
It’s really contrived, yeah.
Regardless, we don’t have time to waste. Continue with your story.
Line changes!!!!!!!
Haven’t done one of these in a good while, I know. In the conversation with Sae at the end of this update, the dialogue option “You still doubt me?” has been changed to “Finally listening?” Also, Sae’s lines shortly afterwards, “Hmph, you have quite the wit… Very well, let’s continue. We’ve yet to determine how the Phantom Thieves dealt with Medjed, seeing as they are unseen.” is now “Hmph. If you’re lucid enough for jabs, you can get back to your story. It’s still unclear to us as to how the Phantom Thieves dealt with Medjed since their identity is unknown.” Better lines for sure.