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Okay, after a few false starts with other randomizers, let's see if I can put together a Portrait of Ruin randomizer LP!
Due to the randomizer settings (or possibly just the randomizer itself), I start with some ability artifacts: Change Cube (switch between Jonathan and Charlotte), Call Cube (summon whoever I'm not playing at the moment as an assist character), Lizard Tail (slide), Skill Cube (summon whoever I'm not playing to use their current subweapon), and Critical Art (super attacks with my current weapon).
Lying right over there are Taunt, Axe Bomber, a Pearl Ring, and a Stellar Sword.
...I forgot I randomized weapon types. That ring's... good for defense, but I'll never get any drops ever while wearing it.
...Okay, this seems absurdly powerful. Jonathan's animation is punching, but I'm still getting a sword swing. I'll need to test the hitbox to see which it uses.
The special... well, SHORYUKEN! says it all, doesn't it?
Got a crossbow under the drawbridge that tutorial's the team mechanics at you. Seems more useful than taunting, so I'll equip it as my subweapon for the moment.
The drawbridge control has a HP cap powerup.
Confirmed: The game uses the sword's range instead of my fist's. Neat!
Oh, boy... enemy rando. This is gonna hurt...
Cocytus... not 100% sure what this one is, but that's a lot of MP usage. Not sure I even have that much, to be honest.
The Cross, on the other hand, seems pretty good, actually.
Breakables permanently highlighted, just for convenience. This one yields a spell I can actually cast.
Don't mind the skeleton torso up there; it's dead (again), it just wasn't programmed for a platform this wide.
Save points are always nice when you're trying to slog through enemies that were never meant to appear where you are.
I find a Stone Mask at the end of this chase sequence. It's... a hell of an upgrade, really.
Gee, thanks, I'm gonna be using that one never.
Heading back through the chase hallway out of curiosity leads to me running into an extremely angry zombie. Well, it's technically a Wight (I looked it up afterwards), but it's still a zombie.
I'm sure there's at least one European noble who's died like this in history, albeit probably without the crossbow bolt exploding.
A second kill to practice my Crossbow drops a Battle Jacket; Jonathan can't use it, but it's a great upgrade for Charlotte.
Who needs to push statues when you have a super-jump?
That Biker's Jacket up there can be used by either character, but Charlotte's already got something almost as good so Jonathan gets it.
Well, these're unusual drops from these enemies. The Cream Pie came from an Armor Knight, which makes a tiny bit of sense if you consider it his dessert.
The Whip Skill 1, meanwhile, dropped from a Skull Archer, which, obviously, does not have a whip.
Their other drops are Record 5 from the Armor Knight, and Divine Storm from the Archer. Neither of these are remotely useful to me right now, if ever.
Holy Lightning and an MP cap boost next to Wind (the quest guy, if you don't know).
Shuri-holy crap, that looks powerful this seed! Well, unless resistance randomization gives everything Holy resist... Anyway, this is the room directly across from Wind.
The shop (behind Wind) has some great stuff... and some not-so-great stuff.
Rahab's Frost: good attack, really tanky, somehow has a Book animation (which I have no idea what it'll look like on Jonathan), its special has something to do with spinning, and it's blunt as a hammer.
Agni's Flame: Ridiculously weak, apparently teleports to enemies or something as its special, also blunt, and it's got a normal slash animation... but it's somehow for Charlotte.
Bakatwa: Spear animation, which'll be slow; special is the same as the Stellar Sword; it's also blunt, but it's got Holy and Stone as additional elements. Also for Charlotte.
Final Sword: Thoroughly fails to live up to vanilla; it's not much stronger than Agni offensively, though it at least has a Def boost and a hell of a lot of Luck on it. Also, it's a Punch thing for Charlotte. 
Sarissa: I have no idea what "illusion fist" means, but it's a lunge-special weapon that'd have decent power for Charlotte if it didn't completely tank her Str.
Battle Axe: What the hell's a Tori-type weapon? Anyway, it's also got Warp Jump, and it's... Whip-element? At least it's for Jonathan, so it's slightly more reasonable...
Leather Cuirass: Lots of Con for Charlotte, but otherwise worse than the Battle Jacket.
Wedding Dress: Lots of Luck, otherwise trash. Apparently Jonathan took up crossdressing this seed.
Royal Crown: Tanks Charlotte's luck about as bad as the Pearl Ring, but it's otherwise ridiculously good, and comes with the side benefit of fire resistance.
Open Veil: Counterintuitively, it's a high-Def negative-Int helmet for Charlotte.
Slick Boots: Decent Def, increases sliding (or maybe back-dashing?). Usable by both.
Samurai Leggngs: Good Def, some Con, and the biggest drop in Luck I've seen so far.
Not pictured: He also sells Gale Force (subweapon for Charlotte), though I don't have nearly enough money for that.
In the room above Wind's, I find a Skull Tower stack that drops some fairly weak but lucky Goggles for Jonathan, and behind them some extremely strong (and lucky) Enamel Pinheels for Charlotte. I go ahead and give Jonathan the Goggles just so Charlotte doesn't have to go helmet-less anymore. Those'll both really help my drop rate!
Oh, hey, I found a use for those extra Records I got trying to get Divine Storm! Also, it turns out I can sell the Vampire Killer, though I have no plans to do so. Anyway, money grinding time!
Well, turns out the animation doesn't matter for Charlotte, since she only has one. The Book, meanwhile, defaults to punching on Jonathan.
Oh, and since I was grinding already I decided to double up and work on my subweapon levels while I was at it. Haven't gotten much practice in with the Shuriken yet, and didn't get to the Cross at all, but mastering two of them is good progress, right?
Backtracking for map completion gets me a bag of cash. Nice.
Bit of a bypass opened up by my super-jump, but I pick this up two rooms above the room I got said super-jump in, in a room with a Lilith.
Her drop is irredeemable trash, aside from selling for more than the Records.
Okay, apparently a tori's a kind of knife. That sounds awkward for the Battle Axe. Eh, it's trash, so I'll probably never see its animation.
And some new shoes in a secret room below where I found the Tori. Bit weaker than my Slick Boots, but they're lucky, so I'll wear 'em anyway.
Across from there, I find this thing. I don't like the effect, but it's a sizeable defense boost so I'll wear it. Good thing I don't use the co-op thing very often.
I like to finish areas before leaving them, so I'm not opening this door yet. Pretty sure I've done everything else around here, so after I double-check the entrance to see if I missed any drops, off to the boss!
Oh, and in case you're wondering why I'm playing Charlotte right now, one optional setting for the randomizer is to apply the "subweapon skill" system to her spells. I did some offscreen grinding again to master the Cross; it went surprisingly fast for something that needed 500 experience.
Well, there were a Mini Devil, an Une, and the Crossbow Armor you can see lying dead on the ground below me at the entrance; of those, only the Mini Devil had drops- this, and Mushrooms. Mostly Mushrooms, though.
MP cap booster and a Clown Shirt on the way to the boss. The Shirt's a little weak defensively, but really good for killing things.
Hi Behemoth.
Bye Behemoth.
Brass Knuckles in a hidden room below Behemoth's corpse. They're useless.
And with that, the entryway is full-cleared! 
I'll figure out where to go next in the next post.