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Okay, after verifying that this seed is possible, time to go back and LP it.
...I have no idea why I picked this name for my save. I don't even like Cheez-Its.
As I mentioned before, I'm using text randomizer for this seed (don't know if that actually changes the seed itself, don't care enough to check). That said, it doesn't matter enough for me to read or screenshot it, so I'll be skipping future cutscenes. Just assume all the dialogue is in this vein; I am.
I start with a lot of stuff, since I only intended this seed to be "for fun" and only decided to show it to you when I found out it was completeable.
Here're the weapons; I'll go over them in a bit. I can say that Charlotte started with a really good weapon, though.
Subweapons. Jonathan doesn't have anything that's actually his, but Charlotte has an attack spell to work on (remember, this randomizer has an option to give her spells the ability to level up too).
The helmet's usable by either character, for the record; I'll put it on Charlotte.
Don't remember if I showed starting consumables last time, or if this is any different, but have a look at them anyway. The Ticket, for the record, is an infinite-use "warp to start" item, just in case the player gets stuck somehow.
Anyway, weapons. The knife's stronger than the Vampire Killer, but I know from my... let's call it a "test run" from now on. Anyway, I know from my test run that it's supremely awkward to use; the knife doesn't move with Jonathan, which means I have to start the attack at whatever I want to stab.
The Royal Sword, despite its stats, is even worse; it only hits things directly behind Jonathan. So if I want to actually have Jonathan hit things, I have to stick with the Vampire Killer for now. Fortunately, I don't need to have Jonathan attack anything.
Charlotte can use the Combat Knife too, and the Encyclopedia is her version of fighting unarmed, so I'll skip those.
As for my final starting weapon, well... here it is. Lots of Atk, good Mnd, and great range; the animation doesn't matter because Charlotte only has one attack animation.
...Wish I could turn that Crit thing off for Charlotte, though; I tried turning the relevant relic off first thing in the test run, and it didn't stop her from using it.
Healing Mail under the drawbridge; it's got acceptable Def, and gives regen, so I used it pretty much full-time in my test run (I don't remember any particularly impressive armor, but then again I was being a miser and refusing to use healing items, and this enabled my miser-ness).
Anyway, it's Charlotte-exclusive too; I think the seed's trying to tell me something.
HP boost on the switch to lower the drawbridge.
Not all the actual upgrades are Charlotte-exclusive though; they're just Charlotte-usable.
...that's a lot of Luck. Other stats kinda suck, but the Luck's good for farming.
Conversely, not everything that's Charlotte-exclusive is an upgrade. I mean, I might consider using this if its competition wasn't the Healing Mail.
Oh, and you can sorta see the frame of one of the portraits in the bottom-left corner there; that's a lot more convenient than the aborted seed forcing me to do half the castle before finding a portrait.
Axe Armors drop a relic I literally started the game with.
The Une (plant monster, more of a trap than an enemy really) at the entrance of the room drops non-throwable Knives (hits surprisingly hard, but still doesn't move with Jonathan)...
...and Spaghetti, which I proved is less than important in this seed but I'll farm up anyway because I can't guarantee I won't get Cave Trolled or Amducias'd again. Yes, they both exist in this seed, and both are in presumably-required locations because screw you.
The start screen has weak enemies this time, but not pointless ones: The Spittle Bone there drops my old standby, Gale Force! 
There's also a Merman here, who drops the Ricochet Rock and a whole lot of pureed liver.
Oh, and this screen also has another Une, but that doesn't matter when there's a less out-of-the-way one below the shop.
This is useless.
The subweapon behind the Behemoth chase... is awkward to use. Not as bad as Grenades, but still- I hate it because it needs to land before it does damage.
I think I found one of these in this room last time... Anyway, it sucks, and it's Charlotte-exclusive, so it'll never get used.
And a useless spell above that, after I remember that I can summon my partner and make them stay in place, and use that to put Jonathan on that statue before pushing it to get up here.
At least I won't need to resort to those shenanigans again to get back up there...
Armor Knights drop Axes (not to be confused with the Axe subweapon); they're crap.
This Long Sword dropped by a Zacchino (demon fop), on the other hand, is very much worth using. It rolled a fast attack and good stats! Only issue is the range... well, unless you count "attacking so fast that the target's invincibility frames are still going when you swing again" as an issue, but that's good for hit-and-run (a very important tactic in Castlevania) so I'll count it as a bonus.
Even if it's no effort to pick up something right outside the shop, this still isn't worth it.
I'll spare you a screenshot of that MP boost up there...
...in favor of screenshotting some more armor I found in the room above there. It's... not very good.
A second trip up there leads to the massive stack of Bone Pillars guarding that crap dropping an unimpressive Charlotte-exclusive helmet. But at least I can give headgear to both characters now, I guess? 
Probably the most worthless of the buff spells; in order to use it, you need to remove Charlotte's ability to benefit from it, and switching off it disables the buff instantly. Yeah, buff spells aren't very good in this game.
...in fact, that "must keep equipped to maintain" clause combined with being the least useful stat to buff means that INT Boost is a contender for worst spell in the entire game.
I'll look in the shop next time. The initial item stuff took longer than expected.