Toggle Background Color

Alright, let's take a look as to why exactly I'm not going to be using the translation the developers provided.



First of all, the original text:

quote:

1. April 1999

Schüler brachten das Wilhelm-Hausenstein-Gymnasium in ihre Gewalt. Ursache war das Vorherrschen von Bürokratie, das mit der Attestpflicht für fünf sehr gute Schüler am 30. März seinen Höhepunkt erreichte.

Um 8:45 Uhr des 1. April stürmte eine auserwählte Schülergruppe das Sekretariat. Alle Sekretärinnen wurden sofort hingerichtet. Direktorin und Stellvertreter - Karin Plodeck und Heinz Schaffer - konnten fliehen.

Nachdem die Schüler die Macht an sich gerissen hatten, wurden die Lehrer nach folgenden Kriterien selektiert:

1. Populär und Intelligent
2. Populär und Dumm
3. Unpopulär und Intelligent
4. Unpopulär und Dumm

Die letzte Klasse wurde umgehend einem Exekutionskommando überstellt. Klasse Zwei und Drei wurden Disziplinierungsmaßnahmen unterzogen.

Zuletzt wurden Elternbeirat, Freundeskreis und Verbindungslehrer durch Zwangsrücktritt oder Eliminierungsmaßnahmen entmachtet.

Nachdem das Schulsystem ausgeschaltet worden war, standen die Schüler jedoch vor dem postrevoltären Nichts.

Die Schülereinheit hatte sich aufgespalten. Es entstanden Parteien:

Die VSP (VergnügungsSüchtige Proletengruppe)
und die BVAJ (Bessere Verhältnisse Anstrebende Intellektuellengruppe).

An einer Neuordnung der Verhältnisse wird gerade seitens der BVAJ gearbeitet.

Das System is jedoch zerstört - es herrscht Anarchie.

Es gibt keine Hoffnung... oder?




Now, their translation:

quote:

April 1st in 1999

Pupils took control over the Wilhelm Hausenstein college by force. The reason was the rulership of bureaucracy, which achieved its climax with the attest obligation for four well educated students on march 30th.

On april 1st at 9 o'clock a special storm troop of students attacked the secretary's office. All lady secretaries were executed immediately. Principal and representative - Karin Plodeck and Heinz Schaffer - were able to flee.

After the control was taken over by the students, the teachers were categorized according to the following criteria:

1. Popular and intelligent
2. Popular und stupid
3. Unpopular und intelligent
4. Unpopular und stupid

Immediately the last category was delivered up to an execution command. Category two and three were delivered up to disciplinary methods.

After the school system has been switched off, the students were in a postrevolutionary hole.

The former unit of students had split up. Parties arised:

The VSP (Violence Searching Proletarians)
and the BVAJ (Better Visions hAving Intellectuals)

At the moment the BVAJ is occupied with generating some kind of new order.

However, the system is destroyed - anarchy dominates There is only one hope...

UDOIANA RAUNES


Now, there are a couple issues here, some obvious, some not quite so. Obvious ones include missed translations (the "und"s in the list), mistranslations (you don't "switch off" the school system, it's not a fucking lamp, you destroy it, disempower it or something), grammar mistakes (parties didn't arised, they arose) and typing mistakes (not capitalizing April and March). Some less obvious ones are that the "Gymnasium" does not equate to a college, the closest comparison would be the British grammar schools or American high schools. It's not entirely sure just how to compare it, but I know it's not a college, because you don't get degrees in a Gymnasium. Though honestly, I'd just leave it untranslated because at the end of the day, it's its own system. Also, sentence structures are shoddy (the "execution command" sentence sounds atrocious) and some parts were just completely omitted.

Furthermore, the title translation is a bit off - "Schulordnung" actually means "school regulations", the set of rules you're supposed to follow, not the general discipline. Now, I'm not particularly knocking whomever did the translation for the job they did - I'm fairly sure the translation was done after the fact, given the limited release and all, and probably not a lot of effort was expended to put it out, I'm just saying that if I want to show the game off, I'm probably better off doing it myself.

With that in mind, here's my attempt at it:

quote:

April 1st, 1999

Students have taken over the Wilhelm-Hausenstein-Gymnasium. The cause was the prevalence of bureaucracy, the apex being when five ace students were required to produce medical certificates for their absence on the 30th of March.

On the 1st of April, at 8:45 AM, a special group of students stormed the secretariat. All the secretaries were immediately executed. The principal and her vice-principal - Karin Plodeck and Heinz Schaffer - were able to escape.

After the students seized power, the teachers were sorted into the following groups:

1. Popular and intelligent
2. Popular and stupid
3. Unpopular and intelligent
4. Unpopular and stupid

Group number four was immediately executed, while groups two and three were put through disciplinary actions.

Finally, the parents' association, the teachers' circles of friends and liaison teachers were disempowered through forced resignation or measures of elimination.

However, after dismantling the school system, the students found themselves in front of a postrevolutionary void.

The unity that had kept the students together was gone. Parties had arisen:

The VSP (Violence Searching Proletarians)
and the BVAJ (Better Visions hAving Intellectuals)

The BVAJ is currently working towards a reorganization of the situation.

The system, however, has been destroyed, and anarchy reigns.

The situation is hopeless... or is it?


Not to toot my own horn, but I can at least be fairly confident in saying that this version is a lot better to read. I took a few creative licenses at times - the "teacher sorting" line does reference criteria, but it doesn't make sense to mention criteria and then list the different groups - the two criteria are "popularity" and "intelligence". So that's why I'm going to be translating myself instead of taking their translation. Besides, I'm going to be doing Vampires Dawn after this, a massive German RPG Maker game, and I need to get back into the swing of things, so this can basically be considered a rehab game, to use a baseball metaphor.