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Here are today's team of sacrif- winners! We have Explopyro returning after being shelved in favor of Entei; Girl Dick Energy as Mawile, Biosterous the Marowak (formerly Marrow), MarquiseMindfang the Gengar, and ApplesAndOranges the Scizor (formerly Muramasa); and rounding off the team I'm bringing in PridePog the ditto, who isn't named after any member but PridePog is too good of a nickname to give up.
: Instead, I ensured them fates more abhorrent than the grave. Now you stand here, radiant in your defiance. Would that I might burn again with such corrosive vision.
: But my worldwise friends were right.
Huh. Fates worse than the grave? Is he referring to being wired up, or is this referring to moon content?
Anyways, Master Warren is completely new from when I first played; originally he was just a Wally expy called Walten, and did Wally things like lead with Mega Gardevoir. Warren is much nastier.
Nastier like leading with Bloodmoon Ursaluna and intimidate Incineroar.
Intimidates go off; Incineroar has it, but so does GirlDEnergy, so in theory things are equal.
Sucker Punch barely does any damage to Ursaluna, so I get the impression they're gonna be a tough customer to take down. Thankfully I brought Perish Song on Shadow Tag Gengar, so ideally Ursaluna will go down in a few turns.
Sadly, the AI really wasn't a fan of Girl Energy, and both of them gang up to take her down. RIP.
I think "oh, I should slow them down with icy wind; Ursaluna is a part ground type and will take extra damage, and nothing wrong with your opponents being slower!"
Unfortunately, Incineroar has eject pack, which means they'll be menacing us with intimidate later down the line.
So I'm thinking to try and setup and sweep with Biosterous since thick club already doubles attack and that sounds super enticing.
Unfortunately, Ursaluna one-shots Marquise, which means they're now free to switch out.
Alright, well Hydreigon is out on the field; Bug is great against Dark, so let's try to take them out with Apples.
About equivalent damage is taken here trading blows.
Rock Slide finishes off Hydreigon, but it does really terrible damage to Ursaluna despite Biosterous's power being effectively quadrupled. That's... not great!
Ursaluna decides to revoke Apple's breathing privileges with Blood Moon. This move is kind of ridiculous, but Apple wasn't the best showcase of it cause they had already got tag-teamed by Hydreigon this turn.
I have no clue what Ursaluna even is, so I opt to send in Pridepog to get more info on it.
Meanwhile, Warren sends out a weird-colored Lopunny. Huh.
So I take a chance to check out Blood Moon, and. It's a 150 damage move with perfect accuracy, and the only drawback is that it can't be used twice in a row.
It's literally Hyper Beam without the downsides of "can't move on the next turn" and "doesn't have perfect accuracy" that make Hyper Beam unwieldy. What the fuck.
This is a real Pokémon and a real move by the way. The Salt and Shadow devs didn't make this up (though it's a 140 power move in base Pokémon; the devs decided to give it an extra 10 power as a treat)
Ursaluna switches out to avoid dying to Perish Song, and Incineroar comes in to intimidate us again. sigh.
Lopunny Mega Evolves into... Lunar Mega Lopunny? Unlike Ursaluna, this isn't from the base series, they are a Salt and Shadow exclusive addition. They had an Icicle Crash prepped, but thankfully they missed.
Blood Moon OHKO's Incineroar; this was probably a mistake as I should have taken out the Mega Evo, who is more likely to be a real threat.
Biosterous still not doing the damage output I expect from a 3x damage attack (intimidate lowered to 1.5x from 2x, and thick club doubles attack). Unfortunate.
Lopunny doesn't miss Icicle Crash this time, oneshotting Marowak.
Hyper Voice does decent damage to the opposing team, but it also hurts us pretty badly too when we're on the receiving end.
I bring out Explopyro to wide guard in anticipation for another Hyper Voice, but they get Thunder Punched by Lopunny and die instantly. That's okay though, Lopunny is in range of dying to Hyper Voice and I might be able to take out Ursaluna to-
Past me, what are you doing. I said to Hyper Voice! You saw how much damage it did the last turn, you know it KO's, why are you making this a single target attack for no reason?
I doubt I would have lived anyways, but maybe I might have been able to take out both. Maybe. Not that it mattered, cause there's still two whole mons we haven't even seen yet.
Welp. That's a reset.
Okay, take two! We know that Incineroar has an eject pack; we can choose to yeet them out immediately before they even get a chance to attack.
Just look in the difference in damage here. Bloodmoon Ursaluna is effectively a legendary Pokémon in terms of stats, and it shows. Extremely oppressive lead.
Apples gets finished off, but GirlDEnergy takes the Body Press fairly well.
This lets them one-shot Hydreigon, so thankfully we're keeping up fairly well with one mon fainted on both sides.
Unfortunately, this lets Mega Lopunny come out, and at this point I've already lost. There's no world where I can handle both Bloodmoon Ursa and Lunar Mega Lopunny at the same time; Mega Lopunny is fast and hits hard, and Bloodmon Ursaluna is bulky and hits hard. Girl Energy gets destroyed.
Hyper Voice again does reasonable damage, giving false hope that Ditto can take them.
Unfortunately, Drain Punch.
Biosterous manages to live a Hyper Voice, but their damage output simply isn't enough.
Marquise barely lives an Icicle Crash, which lets them get an Icy Wind off to slow both opponents down.
At this point I've clued in that Lopunny is both Ice Type and also needed to die like, yesterday, so I have Biosterous throw a Fire Punch at them. Irritatingly, they live with a sliver of health.
Not that it matters. Ursaluna is just too oppressive.
Warren resets: 2
Okay, new plan: we weaken Incineroar with intimidate but leave them in to allow us to sorta 1v1 Ursaluna.
Biosterous gets teamed up on and goes down immediately, but we still have Girl Energy for later.
Flip turn the Ursaluna, and we get another intimidate out of it for good measure. Hopefully that Incineroar won't be doing much damage now and we can focus Ursaluna in peace.
Girl Energy gets massacred unfortunately, but this means Explopyro is alive and can do Water Bubble things.
Unlike Flip Turn, Liquidation does a lot. Ursaluna is hurting.
For some reason I wide guard here; this was a useless move as Ditto will always be faster and I could have gotten a Liquidation on Incineroar for later.
Still, Ursaluna goes down, and Incineroar gts their turn wasted as they are force switched out.
Explopyro gets tag teamed out of existence, but again, that means that their partner can do their own thing.
Unfortunately, I thought Body Press was a good button to click instead of the big death laser that Ursaluna has. If I picked Blood Moon, I don't think Lopunny would have lived.
Ursaluna survives an Icicle Crash, but Apples gets oneshot by Hydreigon.
Of course Hydreigon gets a free switch-out after having their stats lowered by Overheat; so they'll be back again to menace us later.
I'm a moron and decide to use Hyper Voice instead of guaranteeing a KO on Lopunny; this bites me in the ass the next turn as Lopunny finishes off Ditto.
Marquise gets off an Icy Wind and takes chip damage from Roserade; because Lopunny is slower from Icy Wind Gengar can outspeed them and finish them off the next turn.
Mmmm, I don't like that. I don't like that one bit. "Not very effective" my ass.
Marquise gets off one last Icy Wind, but is finished off by Hydreigon. Welp.
Warren resets: 3
Okay, no. We're not going to play fair here. It's time for a change of plan.
Fighting type Arceus and Darkrai holding a Lum Berry will be our leads this time. They should in theory be all we need.
Incineroar starts off using fake-out, a move I haven't seen it use before. That's okay though; as long as both Arceus and Darkrai live this turn this is actually advantageous.
Gravity is a move that, for 5 turns, causes a multitude of effects, but the main one we're concerned with is that the accuracy of all moves gets boosted by 2/3rds during those 5 turns.
Darkrai thankfully lives Ursaluna's attack, which means the party is getting started 
Since Arceus already applied gravity, they're free to Judgement Ursaluna for huge damage. Ursaluna is in kill range and we can dispose of them whenever.
Here's where the fun begins. Dark Void is a sleep-inducing move that targets both opponents, with it's only drawback being it's awful accuracy.
...Accuracy that gets boosted to 100% under the effects of gravity. 
Arceus can force Incineroar to switch out with Extreme Speed to trigger the Eject Pack.
Warren then brings in Lopunny, who switches into a Dark Void waiting for them before they even have a chance to attack.
Even better, I don't even have to finish off Ursaluna with a move. Darkrai's ability, Bad Dreams, damages 1/8th of opponents Max HP at the end of the turn if they're sleeping.
Lopunny mega evolves, but they remain sleeping.
Darkrai and Arceus are faster than everything Warren has that isn't Mega Lopunny, so Arceus brings Lopunny down to "will die to bad dreams" range, while Darkrai entices Hydreigon with a nice slumber.
And just like that, both of Warrens heavy hitters are down for the count.
Judgement one-shots Hydreigon, and Darkrai puts Roserade to sleep.
Unfortunately, gravity wears off, but thankfully the Incineroar that just came out has only been asleep for one turn, so Darkrai is free to Rest to restore it's low HP (and recover from the sleep with the Lum berry) while Arceus chips some health off Roserade.
Might as well focus down Roserade while they're still sleeping.
Incineroar wakes up, but they were never anything more than a nuisance.
Warren sends out their final mon, an overleveled Lunatone with Meteor Beam, Moonblast, Psystrike and Moongeist Beam, and holding a Power Herb (so Meteor Beam goes off in a single turn). On one hand, it's Lunatone, a pokemon with kinda bad stats. On the other hand, it's overlevelled and has an illegal moveset. We won't be seeing it use any moves ever because ideally we want it gone in one turn.
We'll do the same thing we've been doing; Gravity, then Dark Void.
It takes a combination of Judgement, Dark Pulse, and Bad Dreams to take down Lunatone in a single turn. At this point we've won, because Incineroar is a joke.
Yeah. We win these. No casualities either!
After the first 3 resets, it took 5 more resets to get the Arceus/Darkrai combo to work. One of those was actually a victory, but I had lost almost all the mons I brought, and I really wanted Arceus and Darkrai as an ace up my sleeve in case the Champion went south; an if I'm doing dirty stuff like Gravity Dark Void, I might as well do it perfectly, y'know?
So Warren Reset Count: 8.
We left the fight with only a minor scratch on Darkrai.
You know what? Sure. I'll take that healing offer. You can have the honor of healing 20 HP from Darkrai.
: Good. There is no shame in accepting help. Your un-fainted Pokémon are healed. Good luck.
I get the impression a big message of this game is letting go of ones pride and accepting help when you need it.
: His plot to steal my subjects left naught but broken stone. So the light removed now looks to me and wishes to return.
: But we have moved beyond reunion, haven't we Selune?
Selune, huh. I guess they're a moon character? Hmm.
Anyways, this was where I was going to call the update, but... No. Dark Void Gravity strats? No casualties? What a joke. Where's the drama? The action? You just put the opponents (and the audience) to sleep for the entire fight!
We're rewinding the clock. Let's beat this guy not with legendaries, but with regular old mons. Replacing Pride Ditto is Mycelia the Froslass.
The Champion may reign forever; but your Ursaluna/Lopunny strats will not. I object to them!
Introducing the new Ace Attorney game: Dual Destiny Bonds.
Oh, you thought Ursaluna couldn't get any sillier. Allow me to introduce you to it's (very real) ability, Mind's Eye, which both allows it to hit Ghost Types with Normal and Fighting moves, and also ignores opponents evasions and prevents it's accuracy from being lowered. You know, just in case you thought about goofy ideas like bringing a Ghost Type on an Air Balloon or doing double team strats to no-sell it.
This is a real Pokémon made by Gamefreak.
It doesn't matter. Both of Warren's leads are down, which means we have a lot more room to breathe without having to worry about Ursaluna.
Girl Energy intimidates Lopunny, so in theory they won't be hitting as hard.
Girl Energy gets obliterated, but hopefully that intimidate will pay off.
Explopyro takes off a decent chunk of Lopunny's health; this is great because if I can kill them with a specific move, we can turn things around to our favor.
That intimidate saved us the fight; otherwise, Explopyro would have died here to Thunder Punch, and Roserade's (illegal) Spore would have put Apples to sleep.
Thankfully, we get off a Terminus on Lopunny, both ending Warren's other big threat and giving Apple the ability to sweep the rest of the team.
Hydreigon comes out, and I get scared for a minute here cause Hydreigon can outspeed Scizor and has access to Overheat, which will oneshot. I go for a Bullet Punch in the hopes it KOs, but it sadly does not.
It doesn't matter though because Hydreigon really wanted to throw the game for Warren.
Roserade finishes off Explopyro, but it doesn't matter. Hydreigon is the only threat to Apples at this moment, and they're in kill range.
And there they go.
Biosterous gets caught in the crossfire, but it's fine. Apples can solo this fight.
Lunatone gets oneshot by Bullet Punch. +3 Mega Scizor is an absurd powerhouse.
pfft. Okay. Yeah sure do some scratch damage.
I'm sure that'll save you.
Who needs legendaries when you have the power of Apples and Anime on your side?
Total Warren Reset count: 13. Warren is a really nasty foe who effortlessly cause casualties on your team, and requires you to deal with his lead pronto.
Next up: the final E4 member?
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